Joined: 03 Feb 2010
State or Province: Not Applicable
|Posted: Wed Feb 03, 2010 11:30 am Post subject: I knew I wasn't the only one
I hate to see all these women who are fighting for their children. It just doesn't seem right. I read these stories, and it's such an injustice!
My story is no different.
I left an emotionally abusive man, we have a five year old together. In Jan of 2009 I told him I wanted to leave and move back to my home state (over 600 miles away). He said he didn't want to move. I said I am leaving with or without you.
Weeks went by. We talked and eventually worked out a parenting agreement out of court. We had it notarized. I was the custodial parent, he would get her all summer (he also got to keep the house and everything in it). I didn't ask for child support, I didn't ask him for anything.
The reason I wanted my daughter to live with me is the following: In my home town I have 15 immediate family members, that's quite a large support system and they love her so much, but have not really ever been around her (three sets of grandparents, my dad and step mom, my brother, my sister, my brother-in-law and their two children, my uncle and his wife and family, my aunt.. the list goes on).
My ex has only a few living immediate family members.
My ex helps me move back home, drives the moving truck. And my daughter and I start a new life in my home town. 4 weeks go by and it's time for the first summer visit. My ex comes to town we celebrate July 4th and he takes my daughter and drives back to the state he lives in.
Things go OK during this time. We communicate on a daily basis and he keeps me up to date with all aspects of my daughter's life.
In the middle of August I call to set up the weekend I come to pick her up for school year. My ex wants to keep her two additional weeks. I refuse, an argument ensues, three days later I have the sheriff at my work place serving me papers.
I have only seen my daughter three times since then. It will be 8 months soon that he legally stole her.
Because she hadn't lived where I do for the last six months he retained physical custody of her. I have had to ask the judge to grant visitation because the ex didn't want me to even see her without him being present.
When did the "Mother" and primary caregiver become the "criminal"? That's how I feel. I have to ask a judge to let me see her.
Our trail has finally be sent for March of 2010.
Dealing with a narcissist man who abuses people has been very difficult. Dealing with a narcissist man who uses his own child as a pawn has left me scarred and sick to my stomach.
If he had a more stable support system I would have never asked him to let me have her. (I just realized that even though I am no longer with him I still think I would have to ask permission to have my child).
I am glad to have found this site. Thank you!