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Knowing legal rights for single mom
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ky26
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 10:55 am    Post subject: Knowing legal rights for single mom Reply with quote

Can anyone helpI am a single mom whos child father is trying to take to court for sole custody.Do I have sole custody being we are not married? Or do I need to file papers for custody? What are the grounds he needs to file papers for custody wouldn't I need to be an unfit mother.He says because I am receiving welfare for my children and am not working
or doing anything with my l
ife as he calls it he can have my child taken away is this true?Someone please help me!!!!
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worriedmom
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

not true... he is trying to scare you.
the only way he can take your child away is if you are an unfit mother.. meaning.. hooker, speed freak or something similar...
just because you are on welfare and not working does not make you a bad mother...not doing anything with your life??? you are taking care of your child...that is something. I would suggest trying to go to school or get some type of job so that you can have a better life for your child.. that is my 2 cents..good luck
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CindyK
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ky26 - If you are on welfare, is he working? Does he pay child support? He should be if he's not. I agree with worriedmom who says that you are NOT an unfit mother just because you're on welfare. My advice is to call your state's attorney's office and try to get legal aid. If you're on welfare, you shouldn't have a problem getting legal aid. They should be able to help not only on the child custody but also any child support you should be receiving from him. Good luck!
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Alissa
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ky26- I know how you are feeling right now, that is what my ex is trying to do, but we are close to court time and he is saying that I am unfit now and that he thinks since he family has more money than me or my family that he thinks our daughter would have a better life. I have a good lawyer and he has helped through alot, and talked me through every step that I am takeing now to keep my daughter. I mean she is my life and I am not sure what I would ever do with out her, but I can tell you that if you do relax and try to just get by day to day and just worry about what is best for her NOW, that is going to help you. I mean I was on NECAC which was paying my rent till he got me kicked off. I am also on food stamps, but it has not had any effect on what is best FOR MY DAUGHTER. If you do go to court a jugde will look at the fact that you are on that aid because you HAVE TO BE. At least that is what mine said to be so far. I mean if you are not on welfare then where you would be right now. That is all you have to think about. Also there are other agency's out there, I am sure that you can get on state aid which yeah it will look better, but do not worry about what your ex says and tries to do right now, just be glad that you can see your kid everyday. Also you need to get child support, you do not even have to have a lawyer there are agencies that will help you if you do not have the money for a lawyer at this time. Just do what is right day to day that is all that anyone can say to help you.
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marina
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

KY, you needto do somethin with your life!like work or go to school. the court will not give you the custody if they know that you will be "milking" of of government money (no ofence) The father should support the child, but he does not have to support you since you were never married. also, there is such thing as "best interests of the child" and guess what, it is not in the best interest of the child to live in poverty all his life. this might sound really harsh to you, but girl, it is so, the world is harsh and unfair and you always have to be ahead of the game. Now, if you are disable, and cant work at the moment or go to school, then dont listen to me. also if you are disable, it is probably going to hard to get ful custody of your child. discrimination? well you can call it so, but then again, "best interest of the child has nothing to do with you. sorry to be so harsh.
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barbara
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Marina,
The best interest of the child is a joke in Family court.
All men have to do is cry parent aleination, and the man gets custody. Unfit Mother, there is no such thing anymore, Father's are the only ones who are fit to parent a child, the court does not care if a child has lived with the mother their whole life's , they say it's in the childs best interest, to uproot them for the sake of the father. But of course it's always in the best interest of the child.
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marina
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Barbara, you are apsolutly correct. and at the same time, if a mother is any less then "perfect mother" in the courts yes, she looses custody completly. it is not fair, but the court leans towards fathers becouse it's easier this way and mother gets broke on the procedures and aventualy gives up and "stopes waisting courts time"
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barbara
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

worriedmom
They do not have to find you an unfit mother to take your child, even if have never been married to the father, father's right's movement, has got it so the father has just as many right's if not more then the mother.
UNITE AS MOTHER'S! GET AS MANY WOMEN TOGETHER AS YOU CAN, AND FIGHT WHAT IS GOING ON IN FAMILY COURT'S. PICKET YOUR COURT HOUSES
Barbara Fargen
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raven
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello
I am going to have a child. The father has already told me he doesn't want to marry me or live with me. He has other children. Yet We are still dating and the situation is complicated. Do I need to get a lawyer? I am working full-time as a teacher. He has not yet given me any money and has asked me for money since I have a good salary at this point. What would be your advice in this situation.
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barbara
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

raven
Why are you still dating the jerk?
Why would you give him money?
It sounds like you would be better off raising your child by your self. Why does every one think that the father has got to have such a big role in a child's life? Start doing some research. Fathers rights groups say that a child does not need a mother, only a father. Wise up and get rid of him, sorry to sound so harsh.
Barbara
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#1 Dad
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Barbara
I know of no Fathers rights groups that kiscard the mother, that is totally false. Check out the IRP website, special report #83 regarding placement. I spoke with the author recently and SHE is a feminist that advocates for shared parenting. Neither parent is better, both are important. A child needs as much support as he/she can get. I also spoke with Gloria Steinem last year. You may recall that she was an icon in the womens lib movement of the 70's. She also supports shared parenting. Conflict is damaging to the children. We all need to find a way to get along.
Brian
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slbennett1025@yahoo.com
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yo Barbara,

Evidently #1 Dad/Brian has NO clue. Yes, mothers are discarded everyday because here in California and other parts of the US, it is NOT for the best interest of the child, it's "whoever the highest bidder" is and most of the time (not always) it's the men. They are the ones that started the Parental Alienation Syndrome and yet it's NOT the fathers taking care of the children, it's their mama's, or their live-ins or other family members. I agree, in normal situations that both parents are important but you need to get a clue and understand, most of the moms on this website, lost their children to egotistical, irresponsible, immoral and abusive men and the courts allowed it and encouraged it and we know for a fact that these father's rights organizations get help, therefore we have every right to be angry. We have evidence (photos, tapes, witnesses, reports) and yet the courts turn in the favor of the abuser. NO good father ever takes the child(ren) away from their mother, unless there's really a good reason to. But mark my work pal, there's a place in HELL for them!!!
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Barb
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

#1 Dad
I'm not going to argue with you.
The facts and truth do not back anything you are saying. I know where people like Gloria Steinem stand as they don't have a glue what is really happening in the family courts, How this fathers rights movement has done nothing but open a pandora's box for every violent abusive man out there to win custody, and lets not forget how parent alienation syndrom has made sexual, physicial, and mental abuse of children legal for fathers. A man will never speak evil of the mother in court, only after he wins custody. Domestic violence no longer exist's in the eye's of the court it's only made up to make a father look bad.
I am not a feminist, I am a mother, grandmother, a sister, a daughter, an aunt, I stand against a child being put in the custody of an abuser.
I have not heard of a fathers rights organization making a stand against this practice in our family courts.
Parent alienation syndrom is only pushed by fathers rights groups. Where is Richard Gardner today? He made a very interesting statement, sexual child abuse is over rated in the United States as it is accepted in other cultures as normal and he thinks (Richard Gardner) we should be more accepting of it. This mans theory is being used in family courts to determine custody??? Mr. Richard Gardner pushed for the legalization of child abuse for fathers, and has made all mothers who are trying to protect thier children from abuse liars. This is being used to determine custody?
Women make a mistake in thinking that just because they carry a child for 9 months and do give birth, that this gives them automatic legal custody of thier child. In cases where the parents were never married, bio-fathers who have never had anything to do with thier children (for years) can now go to court, cry parent alienation win custody, out of child support.
I wonder how a child of 5,6,7,8,9 year old feels being torn out of thier mothers arms, seperated from thier siblings and put with a strange man and his girl friend. I wonder if there is any trauma, I guess not, as judges and gal's and court counslors think that this is in the best interest of a child, oop's excuse me I really think they mean men. The state no longer has to worry about spending money to collect child support from dead beat fathers. Brian, if you think this is not happening you had better step back, take a deep breath and take another look. You have ignored the mothers on this board who are speaking out about what is really happening, these are not isolated cases, this is happening all over the United States, and is becoming our Nations Shame! Instead of talking to Gloria Steinem , talk to mothers who have lost custody of thier children to violent, abusive men.
Barbara
Wisconsin
Mohters Unite!
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Janon
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Personal experiences, I didn't have enough money to fight the system, so my kids were awarded to the father,(the high bidder). The judges have turned the court system into a betting game. Today, my kids father doesn't take his responsibility to seriously, because the babysitter is raising the kids, and going to his apartment to clean it. It is like when I was married to him, he would leave to go to work before they got up in the morning, and wouldn't come home till they were in bed, and this was everyday.
Now he is playing head games with my son, telling him that if he wants to play baseball, he needs to go ask mommy to pay for it, and if I don't then it's my fault. How cruel is that to a child, that if mommy can't pay for something, then it's her fault. So, before you get yourself all worked up on this, every story is different. So don't go and try and push your experiences on mothers who raised the kids, and then were snatched away from them because of lies.
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slbennett1025@yahoo.com
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Janon and Barbara,

You said it ladies. #1 Dad/Brian needs to get a grip and do some REAL research. Of course he's going to people that will tell him what he wants to hear, evidently he's a clueless, heartless person avoiding his responsibilities and trying to glorify himself (egotistical). I wonder why his ex tried to take the child (could it possibly be because #1 Dad was abusive, controlling, or demented???). More often than not, the mothers that do flee with the child(ren) have a good reason to because the courts are NOT protecting them. Yeah Janon, why is it different and okay for fathers to take the children to a babysitter but yet a crime for a mother to do so? Why is it when a man cries in court, oh he's got feelings but if a mother does, suddenly she's emotional and unstable??? Janon, I think most mothers went thru what you did, regarding their ex's going to work and not returning til after the child was in bed and having absolutely NOTHING to do with the kid(s) and now all of a sudden, they want "daddy of the year" awards. Of course these brainless men blame "mommy" for everything, but believe me ladies, there's a place in Hell for them and quoting Eminem....for my ex "I hope you die and Satan in Hell sticks a needle in your eye". I know that's not a good approach but I don't even believe Hell is bad enough for them. The damages they have cost (emotionally, mentally, physically and financially). Men are notorious for playing "head games" and of course trying to think they "know it all" but we all know that they just pay for the brains they think they have. Once again, another controlling freak. WE WILL WIN LADIES. GOD bless you moms and your children, the WAR is far from over.
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