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Good Afternoon

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Joined: 03 Jun 2010
Posts: 1
State or Province: Louisiana

PostPosted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 2:34 pm    Post subject: Good Afternoon Reply with quote

Hi to all you Mothers out there. I am married with three children. Our family is complex in the children area. My husband has one child with his previous marriage, I have one child with a previous relationship and we have one together. But, nonetheless, we are bonded with unconditional love and morals shared between us all. Unfortunatley, I have been in a custody battle with my first child's father for 3 years now. She is 4 years old and it wasnt until he found I truly moved on with my life that he showed interest in our child. However, after much hesitation and mistrusting of his true intentions, I have (on the surface and somewhat whole-heartedly) supported the growth of their father-daughter relationship. As a child from a divorced home and a daughter of a father who wasn't around nor allowed to be around, I understand the importance of their relationship and want what is best for my daughter. The main problem is that I truly feel as though her father is unstable and has further shown to not make decisions in her best interest. Recently, my daughter has shown signs of PAS. A little history, my daughters father is quite the manipulator. We had history of mental and some physical abuse. We had a four year relationship. He being married somehow convinced me of his seperation from his wife. We lived in two seperate cities which made his lies easy to believe. We partyed a lot using and abusing drugs and alcohol. During our last hoorah as a couple we conceived the most beautiful person I have ever met (maybe a little biased) our daughter. When discovering the conception, I immediatley changed my lifestyle and goals to better fit the needs of properly raising a child. Her father on the other hand decided not to be a part of raising a child, wanted me to have an abortion and accused me of conceiving our daughter to ruin his marriage. I left him be and did not pursue any legal actions or responsibility. However, when our daughter was 8 months old, he contacted me curious of how his daughter was doing. I shared her growth and other milestones. He further explored into my personal life. I willingly shared that I was dating someone and felt as though their was a future in store (certainly, my husband now). Upon expressing this my daughters father hung up the phone. Two months later he contacted me wanting a relationship with our daughter and with me. I open my doors to him and his family to promote a relationship between our daughter and whomever wanted want. And so the saga began. The games and antics played by this man (my daughters father, whom I do not know) are exauhsting. The specificities of our case are paradoxical yet can be clearly identified. I am holding strong to my beliefs of what is best for our daughter and the parenting necessary to achieve it while somehow fighting his will to undo it all for the sake of because he can. His vindictiveness and mood swings are disturbing and the mental games he is playing (brainwashing) with our daughter are even more disturbing.

I could write pages of this and am super excited to have stumbled upon this site. I hope to get my feeling out and to further receive the advice or comments of other Mother's as well as be a listener for others.
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