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Relocating, need advice and info...

 
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mamacyn
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 8:10 pm    Post subject: Relocating, need advice and info... Reply with quote

I met and fell in love with a terrific man who lives 4 1/2 hours from where I do. Before I met him, I worked 2 jobs to take care of my 2 kids. I have a 9 yr old daughter with my ex husband and a 2 yr old son with my ex fiance(who cheated on me). Anyways, this man asked me to come live with him and I would be able to stay home and take care of my kids rather than have a babysitter do it. I could finally be able to be the mother I have always longed to be.He has a great job and can support us without a problem. He also has custody of his own 13 yr old daughter. I am being very flexible with the visitation, trying not to change it too much. Is there any way either of the kids dads can make me stay here and not move? My ex husband is getting remarried and his fiance doesnt want to raise my daughter anyways but my ex fiance will try anything to push my buttons. He doesn't have a house of his own, nor enough money to make it on his own because of child support not to mention he parties alot in his free time.What can I do to make this go smoothly?
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slbennett1025@yahoo.com
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 8:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Mamacyn_02,

Will it be in the same state? I reside in Southern California and I can only live in the 7 southern counties of California, meaning I cannot move to Central or Northern California. However, I am seriously contemplating moving back to my home state (Oklahoma) because my ex (Dork) has primary physical custody. Does your state require you to live in certain counties? Have you checked with an attorney (that might give free legal advice or consultation)? If there is NO order, I don't see how you could be stopped but don't take my word for it because evidently too many mothers thought they had that right and were later charged for "kidnapping". I don't blame you for wanting to move so that you could be a mother to your children. Look before you leap, okay!
GOD bless you and your children and I hope you get that opportunity to make a smooth transition.
Keep us posted, I'm curious to know myself. Susan
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RENE124
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 8:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mamacyn,

Check with your state. I know in New Jersey even if he dosen't have visitation rights you need to file a petition with the courts.

Rene
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mamacyn_02
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 8:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

slbennett1025 & Rene124,
I live in Ohio and where I am moving is also in Ohio, just the other end. I did talk to my atty's sectretary briefly on it and she says that I should file a petition on it to protect myself. She also said that the visitation that I have been trying to work out with them is MORE than what the court will suggest if I take it there... so they need to cooperate.
I am now having problems with the same ex that always is pushing my buttons. He and I previously discussed that when I move and my son comes to stay with him for the "week on/week off" visitation during the summer, that while he is working he would leave my son with my mother so that she can still see him. She has watched him for me while I was working since he was an infant, he has a routine there, and is comfortable. Now my ex wants to change that and leave my 2 1/2 yr old son with his EX, his daughters mother in which he hated until he and I split. Now they are best friends and she loves my son and wants him there with her and her daughter. I refuse...and since the court order hasn't been issued yet, can I refuse to allow him visitation for a week at a time and just leave it as it is now, every other weekend? I haven't been able to get in touch with my atty yet on this.
Susan, thank you very much for your blessing..I will keep you posted on what I find out.
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sugamomma



Joined: 09 Jun 2007
Posts: 2
State or Province: Nebraska

PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 10:56 pm    Post subject: relocating also? Reply with quote

I am also wanting to relocate from one state to another, but my daughters father who I have never been married to is contesting it. I am tempted to just move and deal with whatever else then, but my lawyer also thinks I should go to district court and petition for sole custody. Which makes me sick, because even then I could be denied the right to move out of town where theres a better life ahead of me. I did get myself into trouble at one time, but I was fortunate enough to have family on my side who took care of my children, and my daughters father did nothing but pick her up sometimes, buy clothes here and there. He doesn't actually spend time with her but drops her off at his moms house all the time. SHortly before I got out of trouble he filed for guardianship of her over my family and because he was her biological father and my situation he was granted it. Even though he has always played a very shady character in her life, but his mother is infatuated with her and favors her over his other 4 kids. She is the one who put him up to seeking guardianship because she didn't want me to take her out of town. he doesn't work, lives in a one bedroom dump and has a roommate, didn't sign her up for school, didn't have any insurance on her, smokes and sells drugs, has 4 other kids, 3 of which there are active child support orders on, and he's constantly in/out of jail for failure to pay. Do you think he can really win this or that I will have to make a choice between my daughter or a new life. should I be forever in bondage because I had a child with an idiot>
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K



Joined: 12 Dec 2007
Posts: 6
State or Province: Washington

PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 9:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am in the same boat of wanting to relocate. I live in Washington State and I am unable unless there is good reasoning. I am talking like : a job, family or extended family, or a new spouse etc.
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AKULOVAKIRA



Joined: 16 Apr 2008
Posts: 1
State or Province: Delaware

PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 10:18 am    Post subject: Relocating Reply with quote

I just went trough taking new job in different state to make life of my child better for the future. It ended up to be fiasco for me. I got great job in New York City in February – 3.5 hours from where I used to live. I had tried to adjust 50/50 residency to be weekly from Sunday to Sunday with exchange half way to eliminate extensive driving for my son. I had motioned to court, because my son’s father did not want to resolve this amicably. Mind you that I am the only parent with full time job and I pay my son’s father child support even with 50/50 residency. I am the one that provides health and dental insurance for my child as well. But I am against abuser who is not only abused me while we were married, he is now abusing and using court system in his advantage. He does not have job and all he does files paperwork in courts and DFS against me.
Sadly enough court issued new agreement saying as long as Mother works in New York she will have only three weekends per month with child (after having 15 days per month) and she will have to travel 3.5 hours to pick him up.
With my current health conditions – I am high-risk pregnant and new agreement I had to resign my new job after one and half month. I cannot get other job back in that state, because I am pregnant (I know they will not discriminate me, but they will not hire me), I do not have health insurance, because pregnancy does not allow me to get private insurance, I have no income, I have to separate with father of my second child, and move back to the state till August hearing which will hopefully make decision on Primary residency. Please I need help to reach Women’s rights organizations. Please help me….
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Mom of one



Joined: 17 Jun 2008
Posts: 12
State or Province: Alabama

PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 3:22 pm    Post subject: Won my relocation case. Reply with quote

I have been reading the posts and wanted to put in some information. It is getting harder and harder for mom's to relocate. The Parent/Child protection Acts that have been passed nation wide is a successful effort by the fighting Father's. I won my relocation case with rights to move from Alabama to Washington State to get re-married. The only reason I won though is my ex-husband was not an involved Father, just a controlling one. I was lucky. Believe it or not, I am now back in court as my fiance saw the stress I went through at the hand of my ex and decided to jump ship than have to deal with him for years to come. This really made life hard for my daughter and I. Now, he is going to get standard visitation, which in Alabama is a lot of time and I cannot move great than 60 miles away from where I live now without court permission. It is a shame. I am concerned because I see the Dad's on the news, I see them fighting but I am like, where are the mom's? We really need to start fighting for our rights or we are going to be on the losing end and often.
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lynn5347



Joined: 11 Jan 2011
Posts: 1
State or Province: Washington

PostPosted: Tue Jan 11, 2011 2:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello-I'm new to this board but I want to respond to these posts. As Mom of one stated, it is getting more and more difficult for Mom's to relocate, regardless of the reason.

I have just gone through the gutwrenching experience of watching my DIL lose her son to the bio father. She was living in Florida and was offered a promotion with her company but she would have to relocate to Washington state, the provision with the company was that she would have to accept the relocation offer in order to stay employed. She followed the statuate to the letter, provided the court with copies of letters from her employer, presented the court with verification that the father was seriously delienquient in child support. She was allowed to move but 9 months later after dragging more motions and procedings into court the father was given full custody while she gets only supervised visitation.
She was never declared unfit. In the final hearing, the judge told her attorney that she didn't want to hear any arguments. She just arbitraily gave the father custody and told my DIL she would have to pay child support.

I want to clarify that the 'son' my DIL lost was her first child from a previous man that she was never married to. She and my son have been together for years. My son has taken on full responsibility for this wonderful little boy and I'm proud to call him my grandson.
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