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ButterfliDreamz



Joined: 17 Dec 2012
Posts: 3
State or Province: Ontario

PostPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 10:11 pm    Post subject: Hello Reply with quote

Hello,
I have been a single mom for 17 months. The divorce is still in court. Right now we have temporary shared custody. It is very difficult. I have times when I want to just curl up and cry. Family Wizard was court ordered, he will not participate. It was court ordered, twice, for him to submit paperwork, it is still not done. The X has a gf, 3 1/2 months, she will shower with my 8 yo daughter, they will stay at her house where there isn't enough beds and my daughter has to sleep in the same bed as the X and his gf. My son is getting frustrated with his dad because his dad will ignore and interrupt and when my son tries to talk about it he will say that he "doesn't like his attitude". He is paying child support but not spousal, even though I was a SAHM with the kids. I'm working now but he refuses to pay any spousal. Needless to say, at the minimum, I'm stressed. I take the weeks I have the kids to spend time and enjoy them, then the weeks I don't have them I concentrate on paperwork. I would really appreciate any input anyone has. Of course there is more going on, just an introductory for now. Thanks. BD
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Still in Love



Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 216
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2012 6:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not sure of the courts in your area... but you could request garnishment for both spousal and child support since he isnt' paying one... Also you can request that the courts order that the children not be allowed to shower with the girlfriend and if there are not enough beds... that they can not stay at the girlfriends house.

I don't live in a community state... and unless you are married for more then 15 years you can't get any kind of spousal support here... so I am unsure what you should do.

I applaud you for being a stay at home mom... but when you become a single mom...that just isn't a real possibility anymore. If both of your children are school age, try to find work during school hours... speak to your attorney about the issues with the new girl friend... even bring your son to him to let him speak to the attorney...

and do alot of research about your rights and the rights of your children per your state. Good luck.
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olsencin



Joined: 21 May 2012
Posts: 16
State or Province: Washington

PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 11:21 am    Post subject: Re: Hello Reply with quote

ButterfliDreamz wrote:
Hello,
I have been a single mom for 17 months. The divorce is still in court. Right now we have temporary shared custody. It is very difficult. I have times when I want to just curl up and cry. Family Wizard was court ordered, he will not participate. It was court ordered, twice, for him to submit paperwork, it is still not done. The X has a gf, 3 1/2 months, she will shower with my 8 yo daughter, they will stay at her house where there isn't enough beds and my daughter has to sleep in the same bed as the X and his gf. My son is getting frustrated with his dad because his dad will ignore and interrupt and when my son tries to talk about it he will say that he "doesn't like his attitude". He is paying child support but not spousal, even though I was a SAHM with the kids. I'm working now but he refuses to pay any spousal. Needless to say, at the minimum, I'm stressed. I take the weeks I have the kids to spend time and enjoy them, then the weeks I don't have them I concentrate on paperwork. I would really appreciate any input anyone has. Of course there is more going on, just an introductory for now. Thanks. BD



Sounds like you are doing what you needd to do. Keeping it together for your kids is the right way conduct yourself. Regarding the father. Document. Document. Document. A daily calendar with a log of behavior and habits goes a long way in the end. The kids dont need to know you are keeping a calendar and neither does their father. Things to document include complaints and comments the kids make (such as daughter sleeping with dad and girlfriend and showering with girlfriend), disparaging comments made about you in front of the kids, difficulties with exchanging the kids (late drop off, pick up, refusing to share relivant information about the kids such as illnes or school information.) these things add up over time and can show a pattern of behavior, however if not documented can be difficult to prove. Keep us up to date.
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ButterfliDreamz



Joined: 17 Dec 2012
Posts: 3
State or Province: Ontario

PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 11:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Still in Love wrote:
Not sure of the courts in your area... but you could request garnishment for both spousal and child support since he isnt' paying one... Also you can request that the courts order that the children not be allowed to shower with the girlfriend and if there are not enough beds... that they can not stay at the girlfriends house.

I don't live in a community state... and unless you are married for more then 15 years you can't get any kind of spousal support here... so I am unsure what you should do.

I applaud you for being a stay at home mom... but when you become a single mom...that just isn't a real possibility anymore. If both of your children are school age, try to find work during school hours... speak to your attorney about the issues with the new girl friend... even bring your son to him to let him speak to the attorney...

and do alot of research about your rights and the rights of your children per your state. Good luck.



The problem here is every time we get to court he has another delay.

I am entitled to spousal support and child support, the issue right now is getting a court order to force him to pay, again, when we get to court, he has another delay.

I'm not a stay at home mom anymore, I have been working for the last two years. I was a stay at home mom when I was with him. However, because spousal is based on the past year income and he earns 10X what I do there is equalization to be paid to me.

I have done a lot of research into the kids rights, and mine. We have had Children's Aid involved and the kids have an independent lawyer assigned to them through this to ensure their rights are being adhered to. Problem is, every time I report to the Children's lawyer, he has an excuse or refuses to communicate with them.


Right now everyone is on Christmas holiday, January is a new year, and the beginning of the end for these issues.
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