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HELP, TRYING TO GET MORE CS FROM AN UNGRATEFUL DAD!!!
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ANGRYONE
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 9:26 pm    Post subject: HELP, TRYING TO GET MORE CS FROM AN UNGRATEFUL DAD!!! Reply with quote

I am having a problem collecting more CS from my son's father. Currently he pays me $500 a month for my 5yr old son and I have decided to put my son in a private school. The father and I have never been married we just had our son together. I currently live in SC and he is in California. He is currently military. We have no court order, this is just an agreement between us. Everytime he moves up in rank he increases the CS on his own. Everytime I ask him for more money he gives it to me without any problems. Since I have decided to put our son in a private school I feel that he should have to pay half tuition, uniforms, computer classes etc. $500 is not enough to raise a child on here in SC. It seems like since he has this new girlfriend he wont pay anymore money when I ask for it. They are not married and have no children. I am however currently married but that really has nothing to do with it. I asked him for more money and he says that he has a life and bills to pay there and refuses to pay me anymore. He doesnt call his son nor does he send him cards. His son loves him dearly and he knows his father but he fails to communicate with his son like he is supposed to. I refuse to let him take his son out of this state when he comes to visit because he doesnt call him. He does however send him gifts for his b day and christmas. I currently have custody of my son, we have not went to court for custody or anything but I have had him since he was born. can someone help me out here and tell me what i can do to get more money from this ungrateful father
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istheirhope
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 9:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Angryone,
I think your best bet is to take him to court and fight for CS... That is your only way out of this mess... Just call you Friend of the Court office where you are and talk to someone... If he wants to be that way well maybe you need to start to play some hardball with him... Show him you mean business... I hope everything works out for you...
istheirhope-KY
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Lonna M.
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 9:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Angryone,
If there is no court order it is going to be very hard to get extra money from him. I have a 10 year-old son who only receives $41.00/month and if he is lucky he will get a total of $164.00/month. There are times where my son receives only $4.00 for child support and I am talking this is from the state of Wisconsin, but if I were to take him back to court and fight for some more CS he would quit his job just so that he would not have to pay the extra CS. My advice to you is get a court order because then that way the CS will directly come out of his check and I don't know about SC, but I do know that in the state of Wisconsin they go by your gross and it's like 17% of your gross for one child and 25% of your gross for two children and it just goes on like that. I am wishing you good luck!
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CindyK
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 9:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Angryone,
I agree with the others. Get a court order. If you don't have that, you have nothing. And make sure that the order is for direct withdraw of the money direct from his check. He works for the military? You'll have no problem there. But also get an order that says he has to pay 50% of all day care, before/after school programs, summer camps and all extra cirricular activities. Child support pays for necessities like rent, food and clothes. It does not pay for day care or any extras for school. And don't sacrifice taking your kids to the school of YOUR choice because Mr. California man said no or he won't pay. If you get the order and produce receipts to him on the total tuition, he would have to pay for half of the tuition, uniforms, books, everything! But get the court order. The honest system only gets you so far. Good luck.
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clarissagayton
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 9:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i only get $260.00 a month for my twins!!!
i had to call my attorney and file for a modification of support.he lied to me and we settled out court.he told me he only made 25,000
a year.i just found out he made $60,000! i could
have died right then and there!i called a different attorney and he immediatly filed the papers.he said my previous attorney should have told him no!no agreements! were going into the court room.i think i have a better attorney this time!!!!i sure hope so!
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clarissagayton
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 9:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

oh yeah! without a court order, he really doesnt owe you anything. get an attorney and do it quick
your son cant wait!
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kdc422
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 9:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You definitely need a court order in place. You may have a problem, though, with private school expences. Your childs father could argue that there are already perfectly fine public schools in your area that he already pays for out of tax funds that your son could attend. It would be your choice that he go to a private school, therefore you should pay the bill. It's like one parent wanting their child to have a nose job because it would be better for them socially and expecting the other parent to pay for half when they beleive that the child has a perfeclty good nose on their face. I know that noses and schools are an odd comparison, but that is how the judge in my case explained it to us! You also made the comment that $500 per month was not enough to raise a child on in SC. Well it's not supposed to be. The child's father is supposed to pay his share of raising the child. You are supposed to pay your share too. The $500 per month is not meant to cover all costs, only one part according to his father's income. One other thing that you must also except is that along with the court ordered child support more than likely will come court ordered visitation. Which means that the child's father will have the right to eventually take the child out of state for scheduled visits at dad's house. Which may be a good thing and give them a chance to start a better relationship. That is what is important anyway, that the child have a good, health relationship with both parents and feel secure and that they are loved.-Good Luck!
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dringo
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 9:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Their are a few factors that are against you from the beginning. Your saying that you need more money, 1). you put the child in private school, so if their are any extra expenses, you should bit it because that is the choice that YOU made, not the father, and 2). if the father has paid with money orders or checks he has proof that he has been paying child support without a court order and the judge may keep the support at the same amount with no increase and 3). if a child support order is enforced, he will get visiting rights and their is nothing that you can do about it. If you decide not to let him visit his son, he can have you arrested. That is the law in Illinois, you may want to check and see if that is the law in SC. Since you all are in two different states, laws may be different. So you have a lot of investigating to to. But the best thing for you to do is get a child support order enforced.
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PrncssMorgainesMomma
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 9:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I hate to say this but if you do file through the court system for CS, you may not get that 500$. They may only make him pay as little as $40/wk.
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OariahKam
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 9:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I really don't want to sound like I'm coming down on you but to be quite honest I think it is you who are ungrateful for a number of reasons.
#1 u don't have to beat that money out of him
#2 u get more for your one child than a lot of women get for 3 kids.
#3 his father obviously loves him too I mean he visits and he sends extra money on holidays.
#4 u are the married one why doesn't your spouse help with private school expenses.
#5 I agree with dringo. It was YOUR choice to put him in private school so is should be YOUR responsibility to pay for it.
#6 he is doing alot for a father in and the state and he is honest enough to increase the amount as his income increases WHAT IS SOOO UNGRATEFUL ABOUT THAT?
#7 he is right He does have a life and the right to get on with it.
#8 it cost money to call out of state and it cost money to visit but he still does it.
Why don't you let your son call him? If it means that much to you why don't you just ask him to call once a month and send him cards.Men are not mind readers. If they were we would all be in better situations right now. Sounds like Daddy is doing all the work and you just sit back and ask for more. Count your blessing cause there are kids who have it worse and their fathers live in the same city.
Sorry to sound harsh. Oariahkam.
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Khrys
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 9:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ungrateful? Bullcrap. If anyone's ungrateful in this situation, it's you! He's sending you 500$ a month, and you want MORE? My mom was supposed to get 100$ a month for TWO KIDS. Frankly, you strike me as someone who only had the child to get money from this guy. Child support isn't meant to support YOU. It's meant for your KID. Your KID probably takes up less than 200$ a month, even in South Carolina. I'm a fully grown adult and I know even buying expensive food, I could live on less than 300$ a month, not including rent and utilities. Food prices do not vary THAT much. Quit buying your kid expensive clothes if it costs that much.

Him not calling his kid? At least he sends the money.

If anyone's ungrateful, it's you, and honestly I'm sad to see someone like you on these boards. He's GIVING YOU MONEY even though he DOESN'T HAVE TO. Quit whining that you want more!
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Melissa in Wisconsin
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 9:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am a single mother who attends college full time so that someday I will not have to beg my ex-husband for money to support my daughter. She will grow up admiring a woman who has confidence in herself and can accomplish anything. My daughter will learn from watching me, that you do not need a man to make you happy or support you, you only need yourself. And, I believe my daughter will grow up confident and self assured, and your kids will not. There are people out there with problems bigger than yours. Life does not revolce around what you want, it revolves around your children and their smiles and their laughter and the blessing they have brought to your life. Please, drop the ungrateful husband crap, and quit tring to control him by using your children. Women like you should have to pay child support and see how it feels. For all our sakes Knock it off!!!!
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bsl
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 9:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In four years my ex has paid a total of $250.(two hundred and fifty) in child support. I was so surpirsed to see that, that I put it into a savings account for her. I have nothing but problems with his behavior. I would be so unbelievably happy if money were the only problem that I had with him. I'm not religious, but count your blessings.
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Teena26
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 9:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I cant see how geeting 500 a month is not enough for u. I have three kids and my 1st ex pays 480.00 for his son and my 2 nd ex pays nothing. BUt I dont sit back and tell the first one he has to pay me more because I am not getting enough. You are using your child as means to support you. It should be the others way around get a better paying job and instead of sending your child to private school go back to school and get a job that can support your way of life or get a new husband to provide you with what you want.
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Cookie
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 9:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is tough and I assure you I am not taking sides. I think that 500. should be enough unless he is a high ranking officer. You are the one choosing to put your son through private school, this is not a necessity. So be csreful if you choose to take him to court, you could wind up with less by a court order. Not to mention he will probably fight for visitation rights and you could have to let him travel out of state.
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