Joined: 04 Jun 2015
State or Province: Ontario
|Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2015 9:19 pm Post subject: What Mothers Must Do to Get Custody
|Mother's, here are some tried and true tactics to ensure full custody of children and to expunge the Father totally out of the life of your children.
I have successfully over time been able to steer away my two daughters from their unneeded relationship of their father ("Martin D" (not his real name)). I would prefer to call that man the "sperm" donor, as I am doing my utmost to totally wipe any influence / positive memory he may have had on my daughters, and to program / educate my girls to understand that men / fathers are not only unnecessary, but are not desirable.
If you were like me and were facing the possibility of sharing your children with your ex due to a custody dispute, let me share some of the tactics that worked very well for me. Remember, it's your word (the mother) vs his ... the courts will go with your word every time.
First thing you must remember is the court's first priority is for the safety of the children. After you get over this hurdle, it's home free ... and you must act first!
1. Get a good lawyer. Make sure she is also female and is scrupulous & has a good track record. Spare no expense!
2. Run, to the court and get an emergency restraining order ... just tell them you fear for the safety of the children, or that you fear he (father) is planning to kidnap the children. This worked for me ... it was easy. But, you MUST play your part ... act scared and upset .. be frantic .. esp in front of the children .... they will buy into your fear also. It is important to enroll your children as early as possible into this process.
3. Tell the children about the order - that their dad "has been a very, very bad man" and they are to no longer to trust him. Make sure they know it is for their safety!
4.) During father access days, I told my children never to get into his car, never leave the immediate access drop off area, never let him go to the bathroom with them (better to ask a female stranger). I often stayed at the drop off area in incognito but in visual range at all times.) No matter what the court access order states, remember you are the mother and you must take total control.
5.) Remember, young minds are easily open to suggestion. Just be subtle, consistent and patient. Since young minds are more suggestible just before sleep, while in bed with them just before they drift off, calmly remind them why daddy left them (that he left for another women ... As they become older even provide age appropriate details about the sex he may have had with that 'other' woman while he was living in the same house as mommy ), that he can not be trusted, why he no longer has the capacity to love them. Even ask them questions like "did Daddy ever touch you in the private parts?" It may take several years but it will pay off!
A few proven tactics I used during family case conferences:
> I quickly went to work with my lawyer and presented photos of my children that I took when they much younger (in the diapers) playing in a neighbor's lawn water sprinkler, and used this as evidence to the photos were inappropriate.
> I found an old computer hard drive in a closet (he used to fix and work on computers) and had this scanned and found it had adult sex websites listed on it. I even hired a PC guy who remotely hack into his business computer which was at his office - but nothing was found that I could use.
> While I was at my office, I viewed his facebook page and found a facebook advertisement on separate ad section of facebook called "XXXXblackbook" website. I was sure he must own this website, so copies were made for court.
> My lawyer did a great job to ensure the judge had a questionable doubt about the safety of the children.
The judge granted him access rights but that was easily controlled by me. The court never enforced the order so I easily could "miss" a drop off day and I would just report that he did not show. I would even tell my children it was his fault. This only added to the belief that daddy did not care for my the children anymore.
As my girls became older I still had to minimize contact with the father, even though he now lived overseas. My youngest child was easy to control, but my oldest become more and more curious about the father and would Skype him often. Since I knew I was losing control as she became older, this is where it was time for the years of programming / education to kick in.
Years and years of subtle / unconscious suggestions can manifest into what will appear as real memories of being a sexual victim. By this point, my work was complete as any doubts the children may have had about my negative comments about "daddy" will finally be put to rest once and for all.
Once there are any doubts of child sexual abuse put into the minds of the children and authorities .. it is game over for him.
Mothers, it's War. Men are Evil. It's a fact. Sure. it's nice if they help with the rearing of the children, and provide money, but they must never forget they are disposable and must tow the line. They can not be trusted, they must be controlled. If they can not be controlled they must be eliminated. Totally.
Mothers - do what you must to keep our children safe.
Jenny B (not my real name)