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Need some advice dealing with visitation

 
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murphbear



Joined: 07 Oct 2015
Posts: 1
State or Province: Georgia

PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 10:34 pm    Post subject: Need some advice dealing with visitation Reply with quote

Okay, here's my story.

I started dating my children's father when we were 13 and 14. We dated for a total of 11 years. We had our daughter in 2009, and our son in 2014. He had a pretty rough upbringing with a terrible father figure, and all I've ever wanted for him was to show him that he was better than his past, that he deserved better, and to give him that. We got engaged in february this year. Now, our relationship wasn't always roses. I always struggled with feeling like I was constantly pushed to the side. It was one of those things where "when it's good, it's amazingly fantastic, but when it's bad it's hell". In August, he told me that he needed some time to figure things out... that he wasn't happy at home and he wanted to miss me like he should. Of course I was heartbroken, but I let him have his space. He works out of town during the week, but is home on the weekends. Well during this "space" we would still talk daily, but when he would come home, he never actually slept here. I assumed he was staying with his mom. Come to find out, he had basically moved in with another woman that he barely knows who has two young girls of her own. So that was the end of that. Turns out he has basically been cheating for the past 2 years, with multiple people.

SO... he moved from our house, to her house. THE SECOND WEEK of being broken up, he asks when I'm going to let our babies come spend the weekend with him. Um, what? I just need someone else to tell me that I'm not being completely unreasonable. As dirty as this man has done me and even though I have every reason to hate his guts, I still want the best for him. He can come over any time he wants to to see our kids. He can take them out to the park or for ice cream or anything like that. The only thing that I am denying him is letting our babies stay with him all weekend at his new girlfriend's house, and I also do not want them to meet her yet. Mainly because WHY would I do that to my children? Why would I let a new woman come into their lives when their daddy isn't faithful to this new woman in any way shape or form. I haven't filed for child support, I don't want to take him to court, and I'm not keeping them from him. He got a little worked up and once said he would take me to court.... but... I've been at my job for 5 years and make well, I own our house and pay all of the bills, I own my own vehicle, I pay for our youngest to be in daycare and make sure our 6 year old is on time for school every morning. I get them up, get them dressed, get them to where they need to be, get them home, fed, and bathed and make sure they're smiling before they go to sleep tucked in tight. They have their own rooms here, where as there I have no idea where they would sleep. He, on the other hand, just started this new job in June, does not have a vehicle, barely paid any bills when he lived here and I'm sure he isn't now, and I couldn't tell you the last time that he gave either one of our kids a bath. I know he has given our 13 month old a bath twice in his life. The reputation that this new girl has is awful. She was married before and their marriage ended because she was caught having an affair. I also worry about how our daughter would react if she went over there and sees that her daddy is choosing to live with two other little girls instead of her and her baby brother.

So, it has been 2 months since he's been asking for a weekend. Am I wrong for not letting them go over there? And before you ask if I would have the same guidelines for myself, I most definitely do. I've already told the man I've been dating that if things did get serious, it would still be a very long time before he could meet my babies. They're the most important thing in the world to me, and they're going through something very difficult right now. I don't want to add anything else on top of that.
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ashleyjohn



Joined: 04 Sep 2014
Posts: 26
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2015 5:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I understand what you might be going through. I think you should contact a lawyer to seek legal consultation for your case.
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