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Why do they think it's o.k. to......

 
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Drea215
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:14 pm    Post subject: Why do they think it's o.k. to...... Reply with quote

My daughter's father has recantly found where we live. He drives by our house and stops whenever our daughter is outside. Normally this would not be so bad, however, this is the problem: When we were together, he was a drug addict that was very physically abusive to me. He never hit our daughter but he would wake her in the middle of the night to make her watch everything and then tell her that this is what happens to "whores" so she should never be one. I finally found the inner strength I needed to leave for me and my child. I have managed to keep our location secret from him up until this point. My daughter has been through many years of therapy and finally stopped having nightmares about 3 years ago. Now that she has seen him, they have come back with a vengance. He has never paid support and is now $32,000 in arrears. What on earth makes this man think that this is O.K.????? My daughter is now almost 12 years old and has no desire (that she expresses) to see or even know this man at all. The last time he stopped her she told him to get away from her and started sceaming at the top of her voice. I called the police but they told me that there was nothing they could do unless he takes her or harms her. Anyone have any suggestions???
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jnicole1978
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

get a restraining order against him that way he cant come 1000 feet near you or your daughter. MAke sure your daughter is on the order as wll and get a hold of the courts or an attorney and find out what else you can do
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SLBENNETT
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Drea,

I agree and hope that a "restraining order" might help where you live. It didn't do anything in my situation. Dork broke it repeatedly and yet there was NO consequence for him.

Is there a chance you and your daughter can move again or does the father get to have rights in knowing your every move??? If there's no court order now, see if you can move. The only downfall is he can come back and say you "kidnapped" your daughter and get custody. Be very careful!!!

Becareful and I say that sincerely. I'm not trying to upset your situation but want you to be cautious. There was another mother that had her son for 16 years. The father never played a role in the son's life. Never a phone call, card, a dollar, a gift...absolutely NOTHING. Father went to court and cried, "Parental Alienation Syndrome and Father's Rights" and just like that, the son was stripped from his mother and his happy home.
The mother was inquiring, "how can the courts just let a stranger get custody?" The mother was then court ordered to pay child support and given weekend visitations. This is happening all across this nation and this horrible epidemic keeps on going. There are currently over 3 million mothers in this nation without custody.

A lot of these father's are getting educated and paying off these crooked judges, lawyers and affiliates. They are bringing in a lot of nonsense and yet the mothers have all kinds of legal documentation, witnesses, tapes, photos etc and it doesn't mean a thing.

I feel so sorry for your daughter. She's the real victim as all of these children are. No child should have to have years of nightmares.
These dumb boneheads don't realize the trauma and the impact it has on the children. They really don't have a heart as they like to keep this going on and on because victims are nothing more than a paycheck and it's like being caught in a nasty spider web.

There should be laws to protect our children but they use it against them.

If I had known what this was going to be about, I would have put "unknown" on the birth certificate and left. I never thought for a moment that because I chose to make a smart decision and move on with my life to provide my daughters (what I thought would be a safer, happier and better life) that these corrupt courts could take these innocent children and throw them in a pit of snakes (yeah, I'm talking about those worthless scummy creatures). I blame the courts more though.

I hope and pray the best for all these mothers as I can understand their heartache. A mother never stops worrying about her children as she only wants to give them the best. Only a "mother" can give their children the nurturing they need and always keeps the children's best interests at heart. My battle has been going on since 1997 and I'm not giving up. I know one day my girls will return. Children are very smart and they know the truth. A good father would never separate the children from their mother...

I hope in your state that your daughter will get to express her feelings and be honored for them for her own good. I know it must be such an uncomfortable feeling to know that worthless creature is giving your daughter so much grief.

I've been told to keep plugging away at our Congressmen, Senators and Politicians at a state-level until they hear our children's cries. We are (and have been) trying to get a hold of the press and media (but remember, they are being bought off and many of the father's rights organizations are being federally funded....blood money and it's our children's blood).

We are going to have to keep pushing as we cannot allow this to continue any longer, not to another mother or child!!!

Mothers Unite!!!
Susan
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myzima2000
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I say amen to that drea i can understand your situtation i was in a similar one myself my ex is a drug and alcoholic and i was so scared to send my son on visitation because i knew that he was a druggie and a diabic who did not take care of himself but what i did was pray that nothing would happen to my son until i can get proof of his drug addiction. I kept a log of every drop off and pick up and what happen anything that happen to my son i did a police report and filed a report with dss. finally my break came last july when after my ex got out of jail that feb for failure to pay child support i got a accidently phone call from him and on the message he was talking about getting drugs i saved the message and taped then i had to find a laywor for an emergency hearing to get supervised visitation in my case i befriend his ex girlfriend who wrote a four page affidavited about his drug use while my son was with him the courts made him take a drug test and he failed with flying colors but the judge told my ex that his parently rights can be taken away for that reason. i dont know if you can talk to a lawyor to find out if you can get his rights taken away but do becareful make sure you document everything that goes on it may come in handy. restraining orders are hard to get because he has to hurt one of you before you can get it atleast in the the state of sc. good luck but do becareful i do know that they wont take your rights aslong as u can prove you are protecting your child
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Amity



Joined: 16 Aug 2006
Posts: 3
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 4:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You can get a restraining order, but I don't think the courts will let you put your daughter on it. He is her father and that is the way the "courts" will see it. they will say he has rights~
What you can do is get a protective order that does not allow him to come within 1500 or so, feet from your house. If he breaks it, you will have to take him "back" to court for "contempt." He will be fined or go to jail.
This will cost you some money- but will be worth it and will hopefully set come boundaries.
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katysmom



Joined: 31 Aug 2006
Posts: 9
State or Province: Kentucky

PostPosted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 1:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Amity wrote:
You can get a restraining order, but I don't think the courts will let you put your daughter on it. He is her father and that is the way the "courts" will see it. they will say he has rights~
What you can do is get a protective order that does not allow him to come within 1500 or so, feet from your house. If he breaks it, you will have to take him "back" to court for "contempt." He will be fined or go to jail.
This will cost you some money- but will be worth it and will hopefully set come boundaries.


Actually, the courts can put the child on the restraining order, if they feel he is a danger to the child, or if you put both names on the request and they don't pay too much attention to it. My ex got a restraining order against me saying I told my daughter on the phone that I was going to shoot him and his wife... I wasn't allowed to call her or contact them in any way for a month, until the court date when I went to fight it and he totally dropped it. I sort of wish that he hadn't dropped it, I would have liked him to have lost it... As it is, in the record there is this uncertain "did she?" Anyway, a restraining order is ok, but only enforceable after the fact. And someone crazy enough to do what your ex did to you and your daughter (don't think she wasn't abused because he didn't raise a hand to HER) probably isn't concerned by laws or consequences. You may want to look into alternatives~ but maybe it depends on the state you live in, how well you can be protected.
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tina



Joined: 13 Sep 2006
Posts: 13
State or Province: South Carolina

PostPosted: Wed Sep 13, 2006 5:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

yes they can put you and the child on the order all you have to say is that he has been the absent parent for over a yr and you dont feel like she is save being around this man even though he is the father.. and when you go to court they will bring up the child support so his butt will be in jail so you wont have to worry about him seeing her..
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