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Are fathers getting upper hand in child custody.
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Losingeverything
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Billit31,
I use to live in a different state then my son's father. He filed hearing in the state that my son and I lived in. So, i think that you have to file where the child is living. and you are want to file a petition for modification of order of visitation of another court. there is a way that you can block your number from showing up on a caller ID you might want to call you telephone company to find out what number that is. It is something like *87 or 88 i am not sure.
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CONROED
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My story is similiar to the ones posted here. I am a 37 year old Mom who lost custody of my 7 year old daughter(she was 5 when this started). My ex had a better Lawyer and I know that my case was decided before we went to court-there is NO reason that I should not have custody of my daughter. I don't drinkl, smoke or do drugs. I have had the same job for 18 years. My ex husbands family went to court and lied. I even had a phorensic specialist (who I agreed top let be the courts "expert witness"-mistake)tell the court that this is the first time in his career that he could not recomend a parent for custody he was torn. The "expert witness" did say that if custody was given to the Father that he would relenquish parenting to his Mom! By th way I am from Texas-yes wher Yates killed all of her kids-now my ex husband is marries to a woman who has the same condition that Andrea Yates has. Where do we (mothers) go for help. I know my daughter belongs with me but I don't know what to do.
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e.stugart
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think fathers are getting the upper rather they deserve it or not. All it takes to get exactly what you wannt in the court system these days is to be male!!!My daughter has a 8 month old son to her exboyfriend. whom wanted nothing to do with him befor his birth or right after hthey are both 19 and he never even told his parents about it until 4 days befor he was born. He wouldn't allow for his name to be on the birth cert. or anything then his mother started to visit and every time she did she would ask my daughter if she was still nursing and as soon as she said no they started wanting him on sundays for awhile the whole time he was saying put him up for aduption then the mother would send alittle money out for him, then the mom and girlfriend wanted to play house so he filed for custody now here is the story I the whole time was be my daughters side heartbroken at was helping her to take care of while she was out of town 3 nights a week going to college because i told her it was best for there future for her to finish she would call4 times a day to check on him his father never once called or id anythinng else thecourts then used the fact that she was in school agaist her and gave my grandson to him 3 days a week 4 unless she is going to be with him thaat day so i run 80 miles for them to spen that extra time with each other my daughter has never been in any trouble with the law he has he even is apealling paying support. he dosen't think he sould have to pay anything so now he wants primary custody so he dosen't have to pay support how do they think thats cheaper. he thinks she has no rights while he is with him he constantly trys to control her this way she is now transfering to an in town college i hope this will help cut back some time because he doesn't want him out of love it is out of posession he doesn't even look at him when she has him out inn public and gets mad when someone out side asks about him his one friend was afraid to put his pictuire in his truck because he thought the dad would get agree. If any one reads this and has any input thank you. He has lost his licence 2 times one for D.U.I. an alful temper is on probation and none of this seems to matter.This happened to my daughter and i tried to still keep her life on track and I feel as though i failed her.He only works on his fathers farm ehich is great but he makes 40.00 a week and has said he has no plans to do anything else.He never even asked how much he weighed or anything else until he started to get snug in the seat he had for him and then a few what you could tell were promted questions.
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Veronica
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My heart goes out to all you mothers who are trying to protect their little ones. I have a 6 month old son and am about to go through this maize of lawyers, court, and visitation for the bio dad. I'm so scared because the court seems so heartless and powerfull and I feel like I have no rights to protect my own child! I am trying to find a decent attorney right now, so I will let you all know what I find out. God Bless....
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kariabug
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK, I have a question...I am currently pregnant..will be having baby soon. The paternity is still at question. I am back with the one I have been with for 9 years and I had a brief fling last year, around the time I gotten pregnant and the other father in question knew I was heading back to my old life, and I know that he was trying to get me pregnant to have some hold on me.He is now saying he wants to see the baby if it is his and that he should be able to see him even though I did not want to be pregnant by him. Does he actually have the rights to the baby if it is his just because he might've been the "sperm donor"??? I don't believe he should have any rights at all, and should leave me and my family alone...any thoughts to this?? Thanks...
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sarahg321
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

look at us all we know they are getting all these rights because the law is scared of them look at what they have been doing.did anyone see the fathers rights program, the activst group they have, even after the program of them being violent abusive illegal they are still going.is this the type of way we want our children to grow up how we want our children to get respect or their own way.there is lots of us we need to get some sort of potition going to change the law on fathers rights.if there is already one please let me know if there isnt lets get cracking with some ideas.
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tommysmom
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i need to know what you have to do to get your son back i lost cause of not responing in time is there a paper or something you do to fight back please help im lost i havent never gone to court yet..its in klamathfalls,or. e-mail sugarshaker03@msn.com its been since july 16 2005
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Meli's mom



Joined: 13 Feb 2006
Posts: 8
State or Province: Indiana

PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 10:15 pm    Post subject: i agree 100% Reply with quote

Niki wrote:
It bothers me to hear that after we as single moms raise our child(ren) after so many years gone by..and then the man who was invoved in the birth process called dad wants to come into the picture. Why? Then for the courts to give the father rights to see the child is crazy. The father should have stepped up to the plate in the begining. Now - it should be his lost. But it's when he's ready moms are suppose to understand.
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smkilburn



Joined: 07 Feb 2006
Posts: 6
State or Province: Kentucky

PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2006 12:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

THANK YOU!!! MY HUSBANDS NEW WIFE CALLS ALL THE SHOTS!! WHEN WE WERE IN COURT THEY GOT UP ON THE STAND AND SAID MY DAUGHTER LOVED HER AS IF SHE WERE HER MOTHER. MY DAUGHTER HAS TOLD ME SHE SPANKS HER FOR ACCIDENTS IN HER PANTIES AND WHEN I TRY TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT I GET IN TROUBLE. I WILL FIGHT FOR HER UNTIL SHE IS 18 AND SHE IS JUST 4. I GOT A LETTER STATING I AM 4 MONTHS BEHIND IN CHILD SUPPORT AND NEED TO PAY OR FACE LEGAL CHARGES, WHEN MY EX LEFT HE DIDN'T PAY ANYTHING FOR 4 MONTHS AND THEY SAID IT WAS BECAUSE IT WAS IN COURT BUT I DIDN'T PAY WHILE IN COURT AND NOW I AM IN TROUBLE.
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motherof2



Joined: 20 May 2006
Posts: 4
State or Province: Virginia

PostPosted: Sat May 20, 2006 8:17 am    Post subject: Re: Are fathers getting upper hand in child custody. Reply with quote

Hi yes I am help some what of the same problem. I was with my kids father for 5 years and he hasn;t done anything for either one, now that I am married my husband takes care of both like his own and now the so called real father wants to sign of his rights so in don;t have to pay child support . whats going with the system today?
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MaryM



Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Posts: 52
State or Province: New Jersey

PostPosted: Mon May 29, 2006 8:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The courts are over compensating for some error in the past -- when fathers has little or no rights. Now the courts are going out of there way to make sure the fathers have rights --- but the have gone way over board.
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hayley3



Joined: 27 Apr 2007
Posts: 9
State or Province: Indiana

PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 12:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I do believe the child support is what did us in. That's what started it all. Men figured out if they got custody they didn't have to pay child support. But then they figured out, how much it hurt us. And now lawyers are using the custody issue to get us to agree to take less financially from the marriage in order to keep our kids. Sad. Of course I would give anything for my kid and they know it. And then also the tax exemptions. That's alot of money and men are motivated by money. Whereas women are more motivated by our hearts.
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ecastro



Joined: 14 Jun 2007
Posts: 2
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 4:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I certainly feel for you. My ex BF left while I was pregnant and has seen his son a total of 4 times all to look good for court. He moved out state and return with not so much as one call. Now he wants visitation and has 2 supervised hours on Sat on Sun. He constantly tells me he is going to get my son and I feel completly helpless.
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ksiegel



Joined: 29 Jun 2007
Posts: 2
State or Province: Michigan

PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 4:22 pm    Post subject: child's rights Reply with quote

I am currently in court in Wisconsin. My daughter's birth father has had spotty contact with her since age 1 1/2 to 9. Never asked for more than 3 weeks of visits per year, rarely contacts her between visits, [b]never[/b] attends any of her school or extracurricular functions. Somehow mediation was completely skipped, he asked for GAL. The GAL has no training in child development, is just out of law school and has jumped on board with him to increase her visits for outside of our agreement and outside of past history.

The system is appalling. What about my daughter's rights? Shouldn't the non-custodial parent have SOME responsibilties here? All the responsibility seems to be on me, my daughter and my husband - her 'step' father.

Any advice? Anyone ready to start writing to law makers to increase the responsibility of the non-custodial parent- usually the father! DNA and child support should not give a person more rights than the child & the parents who are there every day.
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TAMEE



Joined: 28 Jun 2007
Posts: 10
State or Province: West Virginia

PostPosted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 10:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's so sad that the courts are claiming father shave just as much rights as mothers. In my eyes if GOD felt this to be so he would have made it to where men could give birth/breast feed. My lawyer or soon to be ex lawyer told me that the courts favor fathers having just as many rights, which is why they have done away with the term "visitation" it is now called shared parenting. The mayla of fathers right groups have some how whined and moaned to there advantage. Most of these are ones who just don't want to pay up. My babies father filed for rights 2 weeks after our daughter was born. He wasn't involved in the pregnancy never asked what he could do or get the baby. He has no children and is very clueless how to care for a baby or child. His mother does it all for him and she is clueless her dang self. I never kept him from seeing her since birth. I gave them all an open door to see her anytime. I had even initiated taking her for a few hours a day to him at his moms because he is not and stated he can not care for independently and needs his moms help. He tried to trick me so to say into giving him a 50/50 split. Saying I'll get papers from his lawyer and they were just for him to be able to add her on his life insurance and get her a bank account. He never signed paternity papers and was not on her b/c. He tried to tell me at the hospital he signed the papers, but I kept trying to tell him he didn't because I would have had to sign them and the notary would need to be present. He snapped at me and said he knew what he was doing. Once my lawyer replied to the order he realized he wasn't on the b/c and said he called the hospital and asked if he signed the paternity papers and they told him no.

So anyways, we had to go to mediation and agreed to a plan for 1 year. Following the 1 year and probably after I have done much of the leg work he wants 50/50 and rotating custodial rights. He thinks it is unfair we(me &my daughter, and my parents get to spend all this time with her and he doesn't) Yet, he was ordered to pay $346 a month and right now owes $1000 in back cs. He wants to have her 3 days 1 week and 4 days the next. Yet, he gets only 2 days off a week and I'm scratching my head wondering how that would work. Then let me say at 6 weeks my daughter was admitted into the hospital w/ having RSV. He and his mom came to the hospital that night and I heard him tell his mom that he wasn't staying because he didn't want to give up his overtime at work for that day. I was fuming. I called off why because no money is worth not being in the hospital w/ your child who can hardly breathe and have coughing spells that scared me to death because I wasn't sure she was going to choke. Yet, he went to work and texted me saying if anything important happens let him no my response was her being in the hospital was important and more important than overtime. I had to learn how to give her breathing treatments every 4 hours upon her being released, which he wasn't there for. He doesn't go to her dr's appointments doesn't even ask how they go. He claims he calls the dr's and claimed he called the hospital for updates, but I never signed anything to give info out to him.

It's honestly disgusting to me that fathers are given so many rights, but don't wanna help from the beginning. They should have strict limitations when they want so much. Like say being there from day 1 and helping in every means.

Maybe the courts need to watch the news now there is more fathers killing there children and pregnant girlfriends/wives than ever. Guess they are blinded by that. In my area just this past month a father killed his 16 month old by bashing his head against the wall because he wouldn't stop crying. A few months before that the home was raided and the mother was arrested for allowing drugs in/child endangerment and she was using drugs while pregnant, but the father lived there also. The sheriff gave the child to a neighbor who the child called grandma and not the father, but the courts gave him back to the father and now the child is dead. Neither parent should have got the child. So keep giving them all these rights and then show statistics to how many are dead. I bet it adds up to more than 8.
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