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Why do baby mama's want cs and the dad to see kids too?

 
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js5555



Joined: 17 Feb 2006
Posts: 5
State or Province: Nebraska

PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 4:25 pm    Post subject: Why do baby mama's want cs and the dad to see kids too? Reply with quote

My subject line wasn't long enough to express this but, why if you laid down with another woman's man even though he was in the wrong too, do you still decide to keep the child and bring that child into a situation like that?

My husband's baby mama, (which he cheated on me with before we were married) finds us everywhere and I don't know how. He's current on support so he's doing that part but doesn't want anything to do with her and neither do I. My take is she should of thought about the consequences while she was f***ing him. Now she says, I just want my child to know who his father is.

She's been so kaniving I don't know what's true. She just recently foung out where my husband works and called him on his job bugging him. I'm tempted to get a harassment order, but husband says it will cause more problems.

Help me understand or know what to do.
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Sterling



Joined: 18 Feb 2006
Posts: 77
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 11:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, you know it takes 2 to make a child.

"My take is she should of thought about the consequences while she was f***ing him."

My take is that your DH should have thought about the consequences while he was making a baby with the MOM of his child. He chose to do that and he should take full responsibility. That means not just paying child support, but having a relationship with his child.

Personally, why would you want to be with a man who has children with women and throws them away like they are trash. EWWW, I could never be with a man who has such little respect for women.

Look, if she is harrassing him he can do something about it if he wants, but sounds to me he is fine with it. And it sounds to me like you are the one who has the problems. So, you either get over them or leave your hubby and move on cause the situation is what it is and there is nothing you can do about it.
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myzima2000



Joined: 07 Feb 2006
Posts: 74
State or Province: South Carolina

PostPosted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 10:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with you on that one. I would give anything for my ex husband to pay his child support willing and want to take an interest in his child but i do not have neither of those right now
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js5555



Joined: 17 Feb 2006
Posts: 5
State or Province: Nebraska

PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 12:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay, thanks for giving it to me completely honest. It helps to talk to strangers to get a non opinionated response to tell me what I should feel. I understand all the responses and I understand it is what it is. I'm learning to deal with this. It is awful to some to be with someone who has be unfaithful, but we have our own child and he's wonderful to us. I neglected to tell you that part. We are very happy and all I'm really trying to get advice about is how to deal with or respond to this woman who keeps dwelling on the past and investigating to try and find us everywhere we go without getting outrageous. I've been a lady up to this point. I'm sure it's hard for her to accept the wam bam thank you maam aspect of it, but she can't focus her energy on just this all the time. She needs to go do something with her life. She has another child already with another man which has placed her in the same situation of having to get her baby's daddy to be apart of their lives. She can't keep blaming others for her situations. My take is you know what you're getting into when you're doing it. You have to be responsbile as a woman to know whether or not the man is going to be around. If you didn't have it righ to begin with and you know the man is leaving to go home to another woman, then you've set yourself up for destruction.

Thanks for all your input. I am going to try to focus positive energy on this woman and kill her with kindness. After all, children do deserve to at least know their biological parents.
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Sterling



Joined: 18 Feb 2006
Posts: 77
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 10:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

that is the best thing you can do, be as nice as you can and show her kindness. You don't have to be her best friend but being kind and never getting into anything with her is the best way to go. It has worked wonders for me and my sons SM's relationship!
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