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is it ok every weekend for my child to go with her dad...

 
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lovita35



Joined: 29 May 2006
Posts: 3
State or Province: New York

PostPosted: Mon May 29, 2006 7:03 am    Post subject: is it ok every weekend for my child to go with her dad... Reply with quote

is it ok every weekend for my child to go with her dad by court Are there other mothers going through a similar case?


I'm a 22 yrs. old single mother in NY., attending school for nursing. My daughter is 2.5 yrs old. I want the best for my daughter like every mom. I took my daughter's father for child support then he took me for visitation I never was against him seeing her and i was scared at court to speak up. He ask for every weekend the result is Fridays evenings until sunday at 10. I'm not comfortable because there are occasional family functions and kid birthday parties he doesn't let her attend on saturdays. Is it healthy for my daughter to be there every weekend when my schedule is very busy through the week I feel i don't spend enough time with her. Isn't it healthier every other weekend? Her father and I do not talk at all. I'm afraid to ask sometimes because i'm afraid he will say no. Can my court order be modified? Are there other mothers that are going through this
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MaryM



Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Posts: 52
State or Province: New Jersey

PostPosted: Mon May 29, 2006 7:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

lovita35,

Every weekend can't be good for you. Most events, trips, sports, and quality time happen on weekends -- and it will get more as your daughter gets older. Plus once school starts -- weekdays are shot -- homework, bed eary etc. As with my agreement and most others I know are every other weekend and one night during the week. This will give him the same amount of days but split the oh so valuable weekends.

Agreements can be changed. They are easier to change when there is a change in circumstance -- like work, school, or residence. But you should approach him with the idea or talk to a lawyer first. You can usually get a consoltation with a laywr a a very resoniable price.

Good luck and keep us all posted on your progress.
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Oliviasmom



Joined: 03 May 2006
Posts: 25
State or Province: Arizona

PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2006 10:17 am    Post subject: Hi.. Reply with quote

Every weekend is not typical because I am sure there are family events on your side that you want to participate in. You can try taking this back to court, it is possible a judge will agree with you. You are probably going to have to offer him something else. How about a night during the week instead? EOW..and 1-2 nights during the week seems reasonable to me.
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lovita35



Joined: 29 May 2006
Posts: 3
State or Province: New York

PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2006 8:36 pm    Post subject: every weekend for dad I'm not comfortable Reply with quote

Thank you ladies for your response I'm trying to figure out how to go about fixing my agreement I want her on a weekend too but he doesn't agree. my next step is to go back to court but with more things on my plate to have a better case. Next week, there is a baptism in my family that I want her to attend so I'm going to ask him if he would let her go, I'm offering to pick her up and bring her back so he can have her for father's day. I'm afraid he will say no but I think I owe it to her to ask that way I'll have some answers on how things will go from there. She either attends or I'll have something to show at court that he doesn't let her attend family functions. I really appreciate your input it helps me better understand what I'm going through.

Has anyone heard of such a case where the father has the child on weekends?
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sarahg321



Joined: 31 May 2006
Posts: 6
State or Province: Other

PostPosted: Wed May 31, 2006 4:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

lovita take it back to court, its obviously not working, quite understandable reasons too, and as ur child gets older it will get harder.I sudgest u dont offer contact through the week unless YOU are happy with it as that also could cause problems, and remember your x is being unreasonable not you.
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lovita35



Joined: 29 May 2006
Posts: 3
State or Province: New York

PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2006 9:39 pm    Post subject: here's the update ladies Reply with quote

well her father said "I don't know i have to think about it." it sounds very negative. I don't think she'll be attending the baptism which leaves me to believe that I would be going to court to modify. is it best to get consultations with lawyers? does anyone know how is the best way to address a modification. does anyone know if a father who doesn't let the child attend family functions is a good enough reason to modify he has her every weekend ladies? thanks again.
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Sterling



Joined: 18 Feb 2006
Posts: 77
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 8:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Every weekend is rediculous! Every other weekend is standard and I would ask the court to issue more of a standard possession.
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MaryM



Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Posts: 52
State or Province: New Jersey

PostPosted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 7:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Keep us posted on what happens.

Every weekend is Rediculous with a capital R.

One thing to keep in mind is it may be good to communicate via email and save all emails. These emails can be used in court to show that one parent is not flexable.

Sometimes you can talk to a lawyer who will tell you if it's viable to proceed without a cost. Of course once you decide to go forward there will be a cost...Don't know if money is an issue.. but time with your child on weekends is priceless.
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