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Joined: 15 Jun 2006
Posts: 2
State or Province: Oregon

PostPosted: Thu Jun 15, 2006 7:56 pm    Post subject: Back again Reply with quote

I haven't posted on this board for quite sometime. I have had soul custody of my child for almost two years now. My ex was granted parenting time every other weekend. I sent my daugther for her visits with him every other weekend with a heavy heart. She had not wanted to go for a while and had shown signs that something was not right in his home. But I had to send her because it is court ordered. My exhusband is a dispectable, disgusting person and his new wife is no better. I knew that eventually something bad was going to happen but was unable to do anything about it because I would just be called a trouble maker.

Well I come back to this board because the bad thing finally happened. In January while at work I got a call from child services. They wanted me to come down to their office and answer some questions. I don't think I was really prepared for what I was about to hear. She told me my daughters teacher had called because she said her father had been touching her privates. This led to some of the worst days of my life. Where I had to sit and listen to my daugther tell her doctor what her father had done to her.

Well there was a big sigh of relief because the sheriffs department and DHS decided she was not safe going back to his home and suspended his visits. For the first time in a long time I could relax on the weekends knowing she was finally safe.

Fast forward to a few days ago. He has a lawyer. I can't afford one. He wants visits back. I find out today that my daugthers teacher was not the only one who reported him to DHS. He has been reported 3 times now. I also find out that they didn't have enough evidence against him so they closed the case.

So he gets his visits back and I get to once again be afraid every weekend. I have to send my daugther to his house when she doesn't want to go. And who is protecting her there? It's definately not the state of Oregon. She is only 4 years old. Now I may have to wait for something even worse to happen. Maybe next time it won't be DHS but it will be the police department telling me she is dead.

Does anyone have any feedback? Everybody keeps telling me that I shouldn't let him have her at any costs. That would be violating the parenting plan.

Please help or at least pray for my little girl.
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Joined: 27 Mar 2006
Posts: 2
State or Province: Michigan

PostPosted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 4:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

First what ever you do, you must protect your daughter. Call DHS and ask them for a copy of there report and the information from the Dr, where your daughter told them about what has happened to her. Get both those reports. Law say's you can have a copy of them.
Second call Legal aid and get an attorney from them. If you are unable to get an attorney from legal aid,I would still not allow my daughter to go at this time. I would send copies to Friend of Court and let them know what has happened and ask for a parenting time hearing. I would think with copies of your daughter's statements to these professionals that would at least give you the legal right at this time to with hold parenting time and get you in to talk to the Judge,who at that time would order what is to be done next,before your daughter is allowed back to her father.This is what I would do myself for my child. I no way would allow her to be put in that kind of danger,because I feared not going by the parenting time the court has set up. The court will get to the bottom of it and I know here in Michigan in the Friend of Court handbook it states that if you feel and have proof of your child being in danger with the other parent you have every right to with hold parenting time, but you must at that time also file for a parenting time hearing. I also would call the police and have your daughter make a statement to them also. Get as much in writing as you can and arm your self well.
Warm Regards
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Joined: 18 Feb 2006
Posts: 77
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Fri Jul 07, 2006 8:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with the ckaleel! Get a free lawyer and take all your documents into court and ask the judge to supervise visits or stop them all together.

If that fails honestly I don't know what I'd do at that point but I can assure you my child would never see her dad again and I'd figure out a way to protect her.
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Joined: 15 Jun 2006
Posts: 2
State or Province: Oregon

PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 11:40 pm    Post subject: Thank you Reply with quote

Thank you for the reply's. I still don't know what I am going to do. At this point I feel like I must do everything I can to protect my daugther. Even if it means I am charged with contempt of court. Sometimes it seems like all the court cares about is the father's rights. I really don't want to hear anymore about how he has the right to see our daugther. My daugther has the right to be safe.
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Joined: 02 Aug 2006
Posts: 2
State or Province: Minnesota

PostPosted: Wed Aug 02, 2006 7:47 pm    Post subject: prayers for you two Reply with quote

I can't even imagine what you and your little girl are going through. The thought that they would even allow your ex to see her after those kind of accusations are jaw dropping. Keep your baby safe at all costs. God Bless you.
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Joined: 03 May 2006
Posts: 25
State or Province: Arizona

PostPosted: Thu Aug 03, 2006 9:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

At this point I would be callng around to every family law attorney to see if anyone can help for pro bono or on a sliding scale. Perhaps Child Help USA can recommend something.

If there is documented proof of abuse, I probably would risk contempt as well and withhold visits.

The courts do not just care about fathers rights, the problem though is in so many cases, false accusations get thrown back and forth and the courts do not know who to believe, BUT I think in this case since it is not just you that has reported it, I would tend to believe you.

Good luck
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