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he's not our child

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Joined: 27 Jun 2006
Posts: 1
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 10:04 pm    Post subject: he's not our child Reply with quote

Last Thanksgiving, my stepdaughter's mother asked me if I could babysit her other child. My stepdaughter is 5 yrs. and her half-brother, by the same mother but diff. fathers, is 4 but was 3 at the time. I did 95% of the communicating with my husbands 'ex' and we were 'somewhat' friends. Even though we did not like eachother. So, I kept him for the night. I had kept him for the night or weekend on a semi-regular basis since he was Emmy's brother. Well, then it turned into keeping him til she got on her feet. Then, until she 'found herself'. Now, she was waking up in a different place every morning at one point and said she was coming to pick him up. At the time I protested because she has a history of leaving her children with other people, unexpectingly. And some of them she had just met. Once she communicated that her life was becoming more stable, I would inquire as to when she would be picking up Paul. It hasn't happened yet.
We actually have custody of my stepdaughter because she had been abandoned at the babysitters home for two weeks. The babysitter contacted the grandmother who in turn brought her to us (unexpectedly). The mother of these two, my husbands 'ex', left the hospital after the birth of her daughter with no way for the hospital to communicate with her about the health status of her premature baby, Emily, who was not expected to survive. 2 months in the hospital, under 3 lbs, with meningitis, lung prob., herpes, drug withdrawl, ect...the hospital would not release Emmy to her mother without the grandmothers consent.
I have a relationship with the mothers parents. 95% communication here too. They will not take Paul. His father is a Crazy, in and out of prison for meth lab. That's why Emmy was so sick. I tried to return him to his mother but she will not take him right now. I kidda think she will not ever say she's ready. BUT, she will never admit it. We had to drag her through a year 1/2 long court battle for Emily. Then, she does this just a few weeks after we won that. It is known throughout her family that she does not want either of her children. She would deny that til the end of time but give her 5 minutes with them and she will show it. Everything out of her mouth is a lie. She might have called three times in the past 7 months to inquire about visiting the children.
I have contacted Child Protective Services a few times. I do not want Paul to go to foster care. Life is bad enough. So, my problem is that Emily and Paul together is a nightmare. They have so many issues/ problems that stem from thier mothers departure and the emotional scars her parenting skills left are neverending. You can't get one on the right track without the other one pulling them off. I have 13 yr. old twins in the home, one biol.daughter outside the home and one stepdaughter, from my 'ex', outside of the home. I am still very active in both of thier lives on a regular basis. My husband has two other young children ,from a former, outside the home that we try to keep up with. School will begin in a month or so and Paul is ready for pre-kinder. Emily did not pass kinder this past year. I do not have the required legal documents for guarianship of Paul to enroll him into a school. I have left her multiple messages questioning this. She will not respond. I do not know where she lives, only the city. All I have is her cell #. Plus, his immunizations???? Any suggestions?
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Joined: 18 Feb 2006
Posts: 77
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Fri Jul 07, 2006 8:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It is great you have taken in and taken care of a child that isn't yours or your husbands. I would do the same if my sons father and SM had a child and couldn't take care of him/her because my son has a sibling out there and I couldn't bare them not to know each other and have each other.

My suggestion. You need to get into court over this child and ask for gaurdianship. I think at this point the school is going to accept your child, they accept illegal alien children all the time without appropriate documents. But still get into court. I don't know what else to say. This stinks.

I know you want what's best for this child, have you considered adopting him? I know it is a lot to handle but seperating the siblings can have terrible lasting affects. But if you can't I understand, your plate is full. Just think real hard about all of this before you decide what to do. I wouldn't wish to be in your shoes.
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Joined: 06 Jul 2006
Posts: 5
State or Province: Pennsylvania

PostPosted: Sat Jul 08, 2006 1:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would try to go to a legal aid assistance program or your local courthouse and speak to someone about legal guardianship of this child.

It is great that you are taking care of this child (singlehandedly really). God Bless.

Document all that you have done and dates because they might be required at another point in time.
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