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Pregnant and Scared

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 6:51 pm    Post subject: Pregnant and Scared Reply with quote

I am 30 years old, divorced with a 2 and 1/2 year old son. I have been with my new boyfriend for only 4 months and I found out I am 6 weeks pregnant. The condom broke so then I took Emergency Contraception after, but that failed too. He does not want it because he says it is too soon, not to mention he is in another state in school for about 2 years. I am so confused and don't know what to do. I don't know if I can do it alone again if he ends up leaving me. But I don't know if I can go through with an Abortion which he is so persistent about. Anyone been in a similar situation?
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 6:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

please don't abort. my friend had the same thing happen, only her boyfriend was married to someone else, she aborted the baby because he already had kids and didn't want any more.. now she is married and it bothers her ALOT... sounds like he just needs to grow up, you can find emotional and financial support in someone besides him, ie church, friends.... don't let your confusion lead you to a rash decision... I'll be thinking about you and your baby.
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 6:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have been with my new boyfriend for just under three months. Living with him. I found out about three weeks ago that I am pregnant. I am 6 weeks along. I have two children from my previous marriage... and I miss them so much. I want to get away from this relationship/man. But I am scared... sooo scared. I actually broke up with him last thursday but begged to come back the following here I am , back again. I have this fear of being alone (without a man/spouse). My parents support me with all theyre' hearts... but I came back here despite my anxiety about this man! He told me (many times and continues to ) that if I decide to leave him that he will fight me in court for full custody of the baby, starting proceedings as soon as the child is born. He also gave me a lovely option of legally signing the child over to him. He is a felon and has three more years of probation. His ex-wife and last girlfriend both have restraining orders against him. I have been having nightmares... of his friends holding me down and him cutting the baby out of me... (among other horrible dreams). It seems so simple to my friends, "Just leave!" I am scared ... need advice.
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 6:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

kristen623, Our stories are frightingly similar. I would love to talk to you so we can lean on each other and give support. Thanks! A.
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Theresa M

PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 6:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

MS gray - did you ever consider Adoption for your child? - Contact Advocates for Adoption and ask for Judith at 800-427-7557. They are a terrific agency and helped me at one time.
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 6:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ms gray:

you said your boyfriend would fight for custody, but with felonies and restraining orders against him, do you really think he can get custody? he sounds like a terrible man and you shouldn't subject yourself or your baby to him any longer. stay with family and work towards keeping your child! and if you feel like you can't provide a decent life for your baby, adoption is a wonderful option.

please, consider ALL of your options and do what you feel is right!
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Joined: 10 Oct 2006
Posts: 9
State or Province: Alaska

PostPosted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 6:50 pm    Post subject: We attract what we fear Reply with quote

I hear a lot of people saying "I'm scared," or "I don't know if I could..." The fact is, we attract what we fear, and our life experience will lead us to exactly what it is that we "don't know if" we could handle or not. You need to wash out those fears and know that you can do it alone, and that these guys can't do a thing to stop you or make your life miserable unless that's what you choose. There are a couple of comments on this stream that make me think that at this time a couple of you have to choose between having the baby and having the man, because these are not the kind of men you need to be dealing with when you have the responsibility of children, especailly a baby. The decision to have the baby or not has to come from within you. You have to stand in your own power, not underneath the umbrella of some extremely unworthy guy!!!! And whoever said that it would be easier with a partner? Sometimes they make it worse! Please exercise HIGH standards for the men in your life, especially if you have other kids! Show yourself compassion, but don't be weak. And (msgray) that guy who thinks he can fight you for custody? Don't believe for a second that's true. He'd be laughed right out of the CSED office, let alone a court of law.
Love and Light, Mari
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