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Can I do this???

 
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cuddlemama



Joined: 07 Aug 2006
Posts: 1
State or Province: Ontario

PostPosted: Mon Aug 07, 2006 11:57 pm    Post subject: Can I do this??? Reply with quote

To make a long story short, I've finally won full custody of my two children after a 4 year legal battle with my abusive addict x. He does however, now get unsupervised access rights. (this terrifies me to no end, but that's not what this current post is about.)

My X has made it clear that he will not transport our kids to their extracurricular activities if they are on his weekend. I know the non custodial parent is not supposed to do that, but that's the kind of guy he is.

I'm thinking of writing the X and asking him for a firm commitment to take the kids to their activities on his next weekend. If he does not provide one, I won't bring the kids and offer him a choice of alternate make up times.

Does this sound reasonable? Is it a good idea? I could just keep sending the kids and documenting all the missed activities until I have enough to show the courts that he has no interest in taking them, but that means the kids miss out and that sucks.

Am I crazy for considering doing this or is it a smart custodial parent thing to do?

I'm new to this so any guidance will be appreciated
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MaryM



Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Posts: 52
State or Province: New Jersey

PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2006 7:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have been going through the exact same problem for years. My sonís father refused to bring him to any sports on his weekends. So, he would just miss the event. Every once in a while if it was an important game I would arrange to switch his weekend so my son could make it.

Finally, this year his father start bringing him to his baseball games (only because his father enjoyed it Ė very selfish), but thatís it, no other sports, like soccer, basketball etc.

As my son gets older he will pressure his father to take him Ė Iím sure of that.

My advice to you. If this is a new arrangement donít make demands at first, make requests. Make it about whatís best for the kids Ė not about you and him. Document everything in email. If you kid are old enough, let them start to ask their father to take them.

Hope this helps.
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jacimaeb



Joined: 03 Jul 2006
Posts: 31
State or Province: Oklahoma

PostPosted: Fri Aug 25, 2006 11:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Although he should want to take them so he can enjoy their activities with them usually the judge will not order him to (at least in the cases I am familiar with). They prefer that you do not let the kids make plans on his weekends because those are for him. I know it sucks and if the kids are older they will pressure him to.
I would explain to him how much the kids enjoy their activities and see if he will work something out for their benefit.
Good luck!!
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