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About to enter custody battle...need advice

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Joined: 25 Aug 2006
Posts: 1
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Fri Aug 25, 2006 10:58 am    Post subject: About to enter custody battle...need advice Reply with quote

I filed for custody and my ex is fighting me for it because he doesn't want to pay support. For him it's about pride...not our child.

To sum it up quickly...
Our son is 4 1/4 and we were never married. We split up right before his 2nd birthday. I am the one that called things off and he didn't take it well. Over the next year and a half he rarely saw our son because "it hurt too much" and he guilted me by saying he would kill himself and it would be all my fault. A year ago we started to get along for our son's sake. Him and I had been best friends since grade school and when I was having tough times financially he offered for my son and I to stay with him and his parents at their house temporarily. I had never recieved a dime in child support from him and needed the help. I moved in last November. I was unhappy in the environment and felt my son was being neglected while I was at work. His babysitter was the tv, computer games & Nintendo. His father works from home but stays so busy that his parents would supposedly watch my son during the day. In May of this year and made a job change and the new job didn't work out so I was unemployed. Him and I started argueing alot so I secretly started planning to move out (with my son) as soon as possible. His father had overheard my phone conversations about moving out and finally filing for support. After a heated argument with him, he left the house with my son and took him to my moms house and told her to keep him for a few days because they were going to kick me out of the house. So I left and moved to my mom's house (where he left my son) about 60 miles out of town. I've been here for 2 1/2 months. We are settled and my son started private pre-k. His father insists that our son still lives at his house even though he hasn't been there or seen him since June. He has refused to give me any of his toys and clothes so he's only had a few things to play with and only 4 outfits that he rotates wearing. Luckily he gets to wear uniforms to school... The only reason he hasn't seen his dad is because he threatened that he would not give him back, and since we have no court orders I didn't want to risk it since he was settled in school and adjusting so well. A week ago he went up to his school with the police to try to take my son, but fortunately he missed school that day for an appointment. Otherwise he would have been able to take him. So Monday I went to an attorney and filed temp custody and a restraining order pending the hearing in 2 weeks. I will be asking for full custody with visitation for his dad. At this point i'm more focused on my son getting to see his dad on weekends while keeping residency here where he has adjusted, than on receiving child support. The father is hell bent on getting full custody of our son. He is manipulative and plays dirty and I really don't know how I should handle this or if I should be worried. Anyone that knows him knows that he is only doing this to "win", and that's he's not looking out for what's best for our son. I have been a loving mother and have taken care of him his whole life. But after reading things about father's movements and other mom's stories, I am really scared that he will fool the courts into thinking he's better off with him. He is telling straight up lies (and bad ones too!!) about me and my family to anyone that will listen. I am currently un-employed due to the move to a new town, getting him settled in school, and helping out my mom. Please share your oppinions on this please. Is there a chance he could win? What should I do to prepare? I am un-educated on the whole custody thing and could really use some advice. Thanks in advance!
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Joined: 03 Jul 2006
Posts: 31
State or Province: Oklahoma

PostPosted: Fri Aug 25, 2006 10:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would save anything in writing from him you have, even emails. Anyone that can testify that they know you have always had your son and maybe even letters from his teachers and how well he is adjusted. I am sorry, probably not much help, but I am going through problems as well and this is what my attorney has said to do.
Also since you have had him this entire time it is very unlikely he could get custody from you. Make sure his dr. apts are up to date and maybe even enroll him in an outside playgroup or sports of some kind.
Good luck!
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