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DESPERATE SINGLE MOM...GRANDPARENTS WON'T GIVE MY SON BACK

 
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tortured_mom



Joined: 29 Aug 2006
Posts: 1
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 2:15 pm    Post subject: DESPERATE SINGLE MOM...GRANDPARENTS WON'T GIVE MY SON BACK Reply with quote

At 26 years old I was a single mother of a nine month old son. I faced being abandoned by my ex head on and was more than happy to be both mother and father to my son, Quinn. It was not easy, and was it not for my parents and the parents of my ex I donít know where I would be. At the time of my sonís birth I was living in California, I am originally from Louisiana. When Quinn was almost nine months my Grandmother became very ill. I made the decision to move home to Louisiana to be there with her and to assist my Mother in caring for her. My days were very busy, working full time, being a mother and caring for my grandmother. But I was happy. Two years later my grandmother passed away. Four months after this my Dad suffered a massive stroke and passed away as well. The only reason I made it through was because of my son. I slipped into a deep depression during that time and decided to move back to California. My exís mother and I had remained close and she was very excited that I was returning to the Bay area. I began working full time, which lasted a year. Then after 9/11 I was laid off. Still feeling depressed and confused I decided that I wanted to be near my family again and felt much safer at home in Louisiana. At this point my son was three. My exís mother begged me not to go and convinced me that I should go home and become settled in Louisiana and allow Quinn to remain with her for a couple of weeks, so as not to disrupt his routine.. I reluctantly agreed, but did not worry. Up until this point she had been a friend and source of emotional and sometimes financial support. In the past when Quinn would visit or be in their care for longer than a day, I would have a release notarized for his grandparents to have him medically treated in case of an emergency. Upon my agreement to entrust them for the two weeks with my son, the grandmother falsely presented me with such a document. As I stated before I had no reason to mistrust her. IT WAS A TEMPORARY GUARDIANSHIP. I have not had my son for two years now. He turned five in October. 2004 and the last time I was allowed to see him for more then two hours was January 2002 My attorney quit days before the trial, I have done every single thing the courts have asked. I am neither a drug addict, nor a prostitute (not that either of these does not deserve their children) Now she will not even allow me to talk to him, nor see him. I NEED HELP! There is so much more to the story. Also my parents arenít allowed to talk to him nor see him. The judge hates me, and I am so devastated I donít know where else to turn.

UPDATE: it has now been 4 years of a constant court battle. After being made to look less than adequate as a parent I am still petitioning for termination. My sonís paternal grandparents attempted to make me look unstable and selfish to the point of parental inadequacy. However I continue to put my best foot forth. I continue to prove myself as responsible and will to whatever it takes to succeed in my efforts to get my son home. If there were ever a set of tasks that I would have had to complete in order for his grandparents to return him to meÖthose tasks x one million have actually been completed. Yet nothing is being done to conclude my case. I see my son for approx. 12 per week. The Grandparents still have no intention in giving him back. They continue to lie to my son about the situation. He is SEVEN YEARS OLD!!! I have held the same job for two years, lived in the same two bedroom residence for 3 years, and been in a relationship with my fiancť for 3 and 1\2 years. When will it stop? How long can the Grandparents say that I am not worthy? And if the judicial system canít find anything wrong with me as a parent, when then are the grandparents given special consideration and therefore allowed to deceive the system with unfounded accusations. Thus giving them the control that they fight so desperately to keep. I have no funds for an attorney. The first one quit and I fired the second. The only thing anyone is interested in is money. And the truly sickening fact is that the only one suffering in this is a 7 year old little boy who desperately wants to be at home with his mom. However he is fed a bunch of BS (excuse my anger) everyday about why he canít or should not be.This is gone on long enoughÖOver the years I have written 250 letters to every parent and child advocacy group, judicial board, state and local office, you name it. CPS wonít get involved because there is no evidence that I of any danger to my son nor have I ever been neglectful. I just canít seem to catch a break. Only one thing is for certainÖthis is what I was put on this planet to do and will fight until the day I die, if need be, until my son is back with me where he belongs. Keep in mind that you would be a part of something dynamic. To me, this struggle is my quest for truth and the preservation of family. IS THERE ANYONE WHO COULD HELP OR OFFER ANY ADVICE OR KNOWLEDGE....I WOULD LISTEN TO ANYTHING![/color]
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momyduarte



Joined: 04 Nov 2007
Posts: 1
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Mon Nov 05, 2007 12:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My story is a mirror image instead i have a 12 month old daughter and am only on my 3rd month of court apperances. Keep your outlook i'm sure its a battle but posativeity is a wepon and like i tell myself every time i walk into the court house one day my daughter will able to decide who she wants to be with never give up stay posative when you least expect it help will find u
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NannyM



Joined: 07 Oct 2007
Posts: 44
State or Province: Maryland

PostPosted: Mon Nov 05, 2007 7:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tortured___Mom are you back in California now?
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kay.brandy



Joined: 17 Jul 2009
Posts: 8
State or Province: Nevada

PostPosted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 4:15 pm    Post subject: I know how you feel Reply with quote

This is the exact same thing I'm going through. The grandparents of my children lied to the court system not once, not twice, but everytime I've been out there to try to take back my children! First I was to young to raise 2 children, second I didn't have any place or room for them, third I abused my oldest, fourth I caused him to get rickets by malnurishment. I mean come on.. this is ridicilous.. And their grandparents are like 65-70.. so how in the world are you going to give the elderly custody of two toddlers??!?!?!
Sorry, Iknow this is your post... I get so heated when thinking about what they did to me.
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mitterand



Joined: 25 Aug 2009
Posts: 4
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 11:21 am    Post subject: Grandparents' rights Reply with quote

It seems like parental grandparents have been left out of the equation for decades and they are now gaining strength. Do the states where you live have grandparents' rights?

The single thread among all of us is the lack of financial resources and perhaps acting motherly. Some of us have made mistakes or poor choices (or maybe even naivety).

Have any of you considered becoming attorneys or observing court hearings for the National Court System watch program? There appears to be some bias against mothers? Perhaps, this is a good time for us to work together to reverse the supreme court decision to abandon the tender years doctrine and for courts to use social science experts to help determine custodial decisions.
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Sommer41



Joined: 30 Nov 2009
Posts: 11
State or Province: Not Applicable

PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 7:19 am    Post subject: Re: Grandparents' rights Reply with quote

mitterand wrote:
It seems like parental grandparents have been left out of the equation for decades and they are now gaining strength. Do the states where you live have grandparents' rights?

The single thread among all of us is the lack of financial resources and perhaps acting motherly. Some of us have made mistakes or poor choices (or maybe even naivety).

Have any of you considered becoming attorneys or observing court hearings for the National Court System watch program? There appears to be some bias against mothers? Perhaps, this is a good time for us to work together to reverse the supreme court decision to abandon the tender years doctrine and for courts to use social science experts to help determine custodial decisions.


This is a good post.

OP?

I am somewhat confused at your story.

Grandparents in the United Kingdom have to apply for residency, they cannot just take the children or child.

If this happens, then the mother, who has parental rights, automatically, so you can apply to the court to have your children returned. The grandparents would then have to apply for residency and the children's wishes would be taken into consideration, a court welfare officer would be assigned (I believe in the US, it is called a 'Guardian ad litem' and the child's wishes would be listened to.
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angelwings



Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Posts: 1
State or Province: New Mexico

PostPosted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 11:47 am    Post subject: I agree! Reply with quote

I am going through a very similar situation. However, it is my ex's new wife that is causing the major problems. My ex is just a follower, she is just a B*@!H! I am a war vet, can not work and there for can not afford a lawyer. However! Doing some research on my own I found out that "step-parents" Grandparents, aunts, uncles, bla bla bla. Have ZERO legal rights unless otherwise appointed by a court of law. IE: adoption. So that helps, I understand that in your case there is some kind of long term control that the Grandparents have, BUT WE ARE THE MOTHERS!!!!!!! WHERE ARE OUR RIGHTS? Why isn't someone standing up for us? Like you I have no history of drugs, violence, or anything other than mental health issues (THANK YOU IRAQ) and a court found me dangerous. Look up in your state the defintion of "Legal Stranger."
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bittermomnj



Joined: 28 Jun 2010
Posts: 1
State or Province: New Jersey

PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 7:38 am    Post subject: Fighting Grandma for Custody Reply with quote

Hi this is Bittermomnj. I lost custody of my kids last year, for trusting their gmother. I gave her custody of the kids back in 03, but that was so the kids can use her insurance. However that was a lie told to me by her and her son. I never gave the kids to her, she only had them on paper. My kids live with me from the day they were born until the judge took them away 1/30/09. This lady is sick physically and mentally. She has cancer and other aliments were its impossible for her to raise to health kids (preteen). However she is not raising them they live with their father. She told me she will not give custody back because I will sue the father for support. And that's why she won't return my kids. I later found out that is recieving money for the kids. The judge knows this and he is very bias, he told me (just because you gave to them that don't make you a mother, anybody can be a mother. An animal can be a mother.) Then he said I'm not giving you back the kids. The grmother said she raised them who I'm I to say she is lying. He did not allow me to prove what I was saying, so the case was based on her words not the facts. Evil or Very Mad I need some help. I am in debt up to $45,000.00 in growing, because he did not do his job. The higher court overturn his decision but it didn't matter. I don't know what to do. HELP!!!!!!![/quote]
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Proud_mommy



Joined: 06 Jan 2013
Posts: 1
State or Province: Alabama

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 11:28 am    Post subject: Re: DESPERATE SINGLE MOM...GRANDPARENTS WON'T GIVE MY SON BA Reply with quote

tortured_mom wrote:
At 26 years old I was a single mother of a nine month old son. I faced being abandoned by my ex head on and was more than happy to be both mother and father to my son, Quinn. It was not easy, and was it not for my parents and the parents of my ex I donít know where I would be. At the time of my sonís birth I was living in California, I am originally from Louisiana. When Quinn was almost nine months my Grandmother became very ill. I made the decision to move home to Louisiana to be there with her and to assist my Mother in caring for her. My days were very busy, working full time, being a mother and caring for my grandmother. But I was happy. Two years later my grandmother passed away. Four months after this my Dad suffered a massive stroke and passed away as well. The only reason I made it through was because of my son. I slipped into a deep depression during that time and decided to move back to California. My exís mother and I had remained close and she was very excited that I was returning to the Bay area. I began working full time, which lasted a year. Then after 9/11 I was laid off. Still feeling depressed and confused I decided that I wanted to be near my family again and felt much safer at home in Louisiana. At this point my son was three. My exís mother begged me not to go and convinced me that I should go home and become settled in Louisiana and allow Quinn to remain with her for a couple of weeks, so as not to disrupt his routine.. I reluctantly agreed, but did not worry. Up until this point she had been a friend and source of emotional and sometimes financial support. In the past when Quinn would visit or be in their care for longer than a day, I would have a release notarized for his grandparents to have him medically treated in case of an emergency. Upon my agreement to entrust them for the two weeks with my son, the grandmother falsely presented me with such a document. As I stated before I had no reason to mistrust her. IT WAS A TEMPORARY GUARDIANSHIP. I have not had my son for two years now. He turned five in October. 2004 and the last time I was allowed to see him for more then two hours was January 2002 My attorney quit days before the trial, I have done every single thing the courts have asked. I am neither a drug addict, nor a prostitute (not that either of these does not deserve their children) Now she will not even allow me to talk to him, nor see him. I NEED HELP! There is so much more to the story. Also my parents arenít allowed to talk to him nor see him. The judge hates me, and I am so devastated I donít know where else to turn.

UPDATE: it has now been 4 years of a constant court battle. After being made to look less than adequate as a parent I am still petitioning for termination. My sonís paternal grandparents attempted to make me look unstable and selfish to the point of parental inadequacy. However I continue to put my best foot forth. I continue to prove myself as responsible and will to whatever it takes to succeed in my efforts to get my son home. If there were ever a set of tasks that I would have had to complete in order for his grandparents to return him to meÖthose tasks x one million have actually been completed. Yet nothing is being done to conclude my case. I see my son for approx. 12 per week. The Grandparents still have no intention in giving him back. They continue to lie to my son about the situation. He is SEVEN YEARS OLD!!! I have held the same job for two years, lived in the same two bedroom residence for 3 years, and been in a relationship with my fiancť for 3 and 1\2 years. When will it stop? How long can the Grandparents say that I am not worthy? And if the judicial system canít find anything wrong with me as a parent, when then are the grandparents given special consideration and therefore allowed to deceive the system with unfounded accusations. Thus giving them the control that they fight so desperately to keep. I have no funds for an attorney. The first one quit and I fired the second. The only thing anyone is interested in is money. And the truly sickening fact is that the only one suffering in this is a 7 year old little boy who desperately wants to be at home with his mom. However he is fed a bunch of BS (excuse my anger) everyday about why he canít or should not be.This is gone on long enoughÖOver the years I have written 250 letters to every parent and child advocacy group, judicial board, state and local office, you name it. CPS wonít get involved because there is no evidence that I of any danger to my son nor have I ever been neglectful. I just canít seem to catch a break. Only one thing is for certainÖthis is what I was put on this planet to do and will fight until the day I die, if need be, until my son is back with me where he belongs. Keep in mind that you would be a part of something dynamic. To me, this struggle is my quest for truth and the preservation of family. IS THERE ANYONE WHO COULD HELP OR OFFER ANY ADVICE OR KNOWLEDGE....I WOULD LISTEN TO ANYTHING![/color]








I am going through somewhat of a similar situation except it is my parents and I have been trying to get my child back for 4 years,I have been advised by many of my friends and fellow workers that I should go to a lawyer now the lawyer is saying I need to go to court.Another difference is that I have custody and I don't feel I should have to go to court,believe me I have only one problem with going to court and that is the money I don't have it and no one told me I would have to go through all of this they just told me I need paperwork showing I have custody..I don't understand why do I have to go to court if I already have custody?
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pedcnxiwe



Joined: 30 Jun 2014
Posts: 2
State or Province: Connecticut

PostPosted: Mon Jun 30, 2014 8:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

thanks for the info guys. it'll really help me.
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