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donovansmom



Joined: 06 Sep 2006
Posts: 1
State or Province: North Carolina

PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2006 4:55 pm    Post subject: New to the boards... Reply with quote

Hello, I'm 26 and a single mother of a wonderful 1 year old little boy. Throughout my entire pregnancy and the first year of the baby's life, his father has been in and out. Sometimes I feel like I should just cut him off completely, but then I don't want to hinder a relationship between him and the baby. My mother (whom was also a single mother for a little while) tells me that we'll both be better of without him, but she didn't have to deal with raising an infant/toddler by herself and my father visited with us regularly even after the divorce. So, I guess my questions are (to anyone having been in my situation) does it get better? Am I going to ruin my son's life if I cut out his father, due to his lack of responsibility? Will I ever STOP feeling like a failure? Any input would be greatly appreciated.
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MaryM



Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Posts: 52
State or Province: New Jersey

PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2006 9:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was in a similar situation. I think the best thing you can do is set up visitation schedule for the father and stick to it. If he misses, he misses, but you know when your child will be going. You don’t want the father strolling in and out of yours and your Child’s live on a moments notice. You can make it a limited schedule until he shows more responsibility -- and proves to you he wants to be in the childs life.

Set bounties and stick to them. It will get easier as you child gets a little older, if you stick to a known schedule.

This will also help if in the future, if you enter a new relationship as I did.

Cutting the father out completely will probably come back to haunt you later -- as much as I hate to admit that. Just don't let him jerk you around.

Hopefully the father is contributing some support to you also. That always helps.

Good luck – sorry I could not help you more.
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