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need help from someone who has been through it

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 8:23 pm    Post subject: need help from someone who has been through it Reply with quote

The divorce has been filed but it hasn't gone to court yet. We are "trying" to work out custody and grandparents are even fighting me in court. I would like to know how it will work so I can prepare myself. I have a lot of things to say to a judge. Will the lawyers question me or will I be allowed to just make a statement. There are a lot of other things that are going on but right now I would just like to know about this. Surely some of you have already experienced this. Please help so I can know what to expect.
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 8:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Depending on how your attorneys handle your case yes you could be called up on the stand and questioned not only by your atty but by your ex's atty too. If this happens, listen to the question, take a deep breath and answer the question as best as you can. Generally you are not allowed to just make statements. You have to tell your atty what you want the judge to know and it's there job to ask you the questions so that you can answer them with the what you want the judge to know. I just asked my atty on this same issue. I was hoping after all questions were done that I'd have a chance to tell the judge about all the stress, waste of money, game playing, waste of time and energy etc... that my ex has caused because he feels he's above the law and can break the court orders like they don't exist. My atty says no to let her know what I want the judge to hear and she will ask me the right questions.
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 8:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

its best for EVERYONE involved if you can agree. It really is. Think about it. Do you both want people that don't know you deciding your fate and that of your child's? Come to an agreement and file it with the court. Seriously. Its so much better for everyone involved.
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 8:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mookieee, you probably had it realy easy in your divorce? It is good to agree if you are both thinking like adults. My ex, noe 33yo, has mentality of a 8yo and anithing i say is taken personaly. for exemple, if i say that our doughtar has to look clean when she goes to school, ge gives me 30 minut argument about som BS that has nothing to do with our doughter.

so the point of this is that you can agree if you think alike, and you will newer agree if you are just soooooooooooooo diferent. 90% of women believe that joint custody does not work. guess why? Becouse you have to agree in the joint custody there is no other way.
canary, the only ting you have to remember, do not incriminate your selfe in any way for if you do, you will join the ranks of childless mothers. if you dont know the answer, say i dont remember, recall, or i dont know. any question you answer, ansver it sort becouse the more you talk, the more information you are giving to the aposing att. this is one of the attorney crown examples: if usked "do you know what time it is?" the ensver is yes or no not the actual time.
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clarissa a.gayton

PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 8:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

dear canary,let me give you a little bit of advice,trust me,i have been through it!i think it is very important for children to remain a
big part of their father's life.if there is one
thought in your head that in,the AGREEMENT that
something is not fair to you, then go on to court
and let the judge and my ex had an agreement, and i finally got it changed today!(in
my favor!)but it was very hard and it took a very long time.also, if you do settle out of court,do it on a temporary hearing and dont make it a final order right away!that way, if he doesnt stick to his end of the deal, then you can go to court for the final hearing and explain
what he hasnot done.then the judge will find in your you want to know what is going to save you!??? GO BUY YOU A NOTEBOOK TODAY,and write todays date down,,and document every thing,
the date ,when you talk to him,how the conversation went,when he picks up the kids,if he was late,if he was early.EVERYTHING!!!good or bad!!!this is what convinced the just that i am such a responsible person;that i really had it together.
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