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Joined: 18 Sep 2006
Posts: 1
State or Province: Virginia

PostPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 8:30 am    Post subject: New here Reply with quote

I didn't see anywhere to make intro's so if this is the wrong spot I'm so sorry......

My name is Kimberly. I'm 24 years old. I have 2 children, Brent is almost 4. Gabby is almost 1. I've been married to their father for almost 3 years but just recently (last week) we've decided to go our seperate ways. We've been together for almost 7 years. Many factors caused our seperation, the major being I'm just not in love with him anymore. How can you make yourself love someone?

Anyway, his name is Ashby. He moved out Saturday. Since then I've surrounded myself and the kids with friends. My best friend lives nextdoor and her daughter is 2 weeks younger than Brent. So we hung out with them all weekend. We took the kids out and to the mall to the play area. We cooked out on the grill. My best friend has just broken up with her boyfriend a few months ago so she understands and we've been talking alot. We may try to find a 4 bedroom house to rent when our leases are up next March and April. We'll see.

Right now the kids are doing quite well. Of course Gabby is really too young to understand, but I know the questions will soon come from Brent. Does anyone have any advice on how I tell him or what I say? I honestly have no idea what to tell him.

We've worked out a temporary agreement with the custody. Ashby really wants to keep things out of court and I'll go with that for now. He will be staying with his grandparents for now and he said he wanted the kids every other week from Friday to Friday. At first I said no because I can't go that long without them, but then he came back with "well neither can I, they are my kids." And he's right, I never even thought of him though as selfish as that may sound. So we are going to try that, I know it's going to kill me but I also know that at his grandparents, even if he isn't taking care of them all the time, they will be taken care of regardless, KWIM?? I really hope all this works out without fights. I want this to be as easy as it can be for the kids.

Well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. I can't wait to meet all of you. I hope this will be a great place to get advice, support, and friendship!
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Still in Love

Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 216
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 9:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Do not give him those kids for any lengthy amount of time till you have a court order... just read some of the scary things that some of these women here have or are going through.

He doesn't want it in court... too bad... Go to court and file for full custody and child support... if you have nothing in court, he could just stop paying you... also with the 50/50 split... he just doesn't want to pay any support... cause with that... the judge will say that he has them just as much as you, and you and him should both be paying half. your one year old is too young to be going away from you for a week at a time...

If you never listen to any kind of advise again, listen to this... go to court... file the papers and get a free consultation with a family lawyer.
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Joined: 18 Feb 2006
Posts: 77
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 4:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Look, I actually agree that you are doing the right thing by splitting the kids half and half with your husband, but I think you and him need to sign an agreement and have a judge sign it before the divorce is final. It doesn't have to be a fight through courts to have this done and will protect the both of you in the long run.

As far as your reasons for divorce I think they aren't good enough. LOVe is a choice,not a feeling. The feeling of love can come and go, it has for me, but I made a commitment and choice and I'm going to follow through with it for my kids sake.

Your hubby seems like a good dad. Your kids don't deserve to be seperated like this between both parents. It isn't fair for them! Please reconsider leaving your hubby and working things out. Go to marriage counseling and attend things that help spice your marriage back up and bring those feelings back. If you can "love" once you can "love" again!
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