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need little help

 
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agoodmom



Joined: 16 Oct 2006
Posts: 2
State or Province: Tennessee

PostPosted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 6:06 pm    Post subject: need little help Reply with quote



Question can someone tell me bout a mediator, me and husband goes to one befor court cause he will not agree on anything about our daughter she is 9, and we live in tennessee[/list]
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Still in Love



Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 216
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 9:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

All I can tell you is if you don't agree to things with the mediator, then the mediator will recommend what they feel is appropriate, and the judge will usually go with what the mediator suggests...

I would try to sit down with your hubby and let him know what you want, listen to what he wants... and try to come to some compromises... when you go to the mediator, don't argue at all and try to remain calm.
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agoodmom



Joined: 16 Oct 2006
Posts: 2
State or Province: Tennessee

PostPosted: Tue Oct 17, 2006 6:11 pm    Post subject: agoodmom Reply with quote

it is impossible to set with him and talk he will not do it,, he will not agree to anything except for me not to be in her life,he wants me out of it completely he dont even want me to visit with her, so thats why i was wondering bout the meditation thing, i know he want agree on anything there either,,all he is doin this for is because he is so jealous hes afraid im goin to meet someone else now that we r getting a divorce,he is using her to still try and controll me,
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MaryM



Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Posts: 52
State or Province: New Jersey

PostPosted: Tue Oct 17, 2006 8:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Do not agree to anything with the mediator unless it's totally what you want. One very important thing is that the mediators job is not be be fair to you or the child, their job is to to find a common ground and avoid and minimize court time.
In many cases the mediator is just trying to find the weaker of the two parites and get them to agree or give up much of their rights.
Don't let the mediator let you think that they have anyones best interests in mind.
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Mickeymouse5472



Joined: 10 Nov 2006
Posts: 24
State or Province: Utah

PostPosted: Sun Nov 12, 2006 12:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It doesn't matter if he disagree's with what you want. The mediator will make the both of you make some compromises. Make sure that you dont give up too easily on things that you want. My sister just went through the Mediaion with her ex-BF and he was a Jerk the whole time even cussed out the mediator, his lawer, my sister's lawer and my sister. That didnt make any difference being an *&%#, they still got 50/50 custody and had to meet at a common ground. If they didnt then the mediator would make a decsion for them and they had no choice. (Although my sister did get more of her requests made, being that she wasn't being an *&%# to everyone like he was.)
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