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OUTTA STATE CUSTODY!!!

 
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Mickeymouse5472



Joined: 10 Nov 2006
Posts: 24
State or Province: Utah

PostPosted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 4:52 pm    Post subject: OUTTA STATE CUSTODY!!! Reply with quote

I just joined this site to get some info on outta state custody, because I couldnt find any info anywhere. I do how ever know alot about custody of a single parent and of Colorado because I worked for Social Services for many years when I lived in Colorado. I know that it varies widly from state to state and case to case. I just tried to help my younger sister get full custody of her daughter after the father was useing the baby against her. She only ended up with 50/50 and has to ask the father if she wants to do anything with the baby. That kinda opened my eyes to the whole custody thing. Then I read a bunch of stories on this site and was horrified at what I found out. I can't believe how many mothers have had there children taken from them by men. I am now scared of what may happen to my Child.
I am 25 years old and the mother to a 5mo old baby boy. I am currently staying with family members to make ends meet and planning on going back to school when I am done breastfeeding. I now live in Utah, I just recently moved here from Colorado 7 mo ago and applied for Governtment Assistants. They told me I needed to get child support before I could apply. I wanted to find out what the rights woud be for the father once I did. I dont want my child taken from me he is my world!! I also need the help.
My situation is different because the father actually to this point as far as I know. Doesn't know I was pregnant, or had the baby. I didnt find out till we went our serperate ways that I was pregnant. I have not seen or heard from him since. He is by no means able to care for a child and I dont think that he would be able to even pay child support. He is much younger then I and very immature. Not only that is that we live in two different states and I am planning on moving to Idaho with in the next year to finnish schooling. Which there after I plan to move again to California to presue my career.
I am not sure what the father would do if he found out about the baby. I dont know if he would fight me or try to get outta the child support or what. I am not concerned at all about getting child support, but I do want to be able to live on my own and not have to stay with family members to make ends meet. I cant do this without apperently filing for child support.

Any information anyone has would be helpful!! Thank You
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EarthMom26



Joined: 17 Jan 2007
Posts: 3
State or Province: Maine

PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 6:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you don't think her best interested would be served by him being involved in her life, it's probably easiest to keep him in the dark about her existance. The court believes both parents have rights unless they are deamed unfit and their unfit status can change. A mother's idea of unfit and a court's idea of unfit are two vastly different concepts. Stay in school, accept your families support and see if you can find a non-profit that can assist you. If you have a faith, find a good church and see what assistance they can help you find.
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4penny



Joined: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 10
State or Province: Oklahoma

PostPosted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 11:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That is how the wonderful system works, you break up with guy because evidently he sucks and then they want to get him reinvolved in your life. Only you know what kind of guy he is and can decide whether it is a risk you would like to take but as for me I would probably leave him out especially since I don't want him to be coming around. That is definately a problem and you should think about it real hard. If you have a good reason as to why you don't want him to know where you live you should find out if they will give that information to him. If they sue him for child support most likely your name and contact info would be included unless you have a good reason. you should consult an attorney, most will do a consultation for free.
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Mickeymouse5472



Joined: 10 Nov 2006
Posts: 24
State or Province: Utah

PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 11:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank You everyone for your Advise, I just spent the last few months going over the laws in my state and most other states and found out alot about family law.
For now while my son is a baby and until he is old enough to understand I will just stay with my family and got to school.
Again thanks!
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stunned



Joined: 06 Mar 2007
Posts: 25
State or Province: New Hampshire

PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 7:22 am    Post subject: good choice Reply with quote

finish your education, and except your familys help. do not involve the babys father if you do not have to. The laws state he will have just as much right to the child as you do. the father if he is informed will be ordered to pay child support and that is when your problems will start.
He will feel if he is paying he should see his child and have just as much say in every aspect of this childs life.. in a few years or less will get behind in child support, the state will take child support right out of his checks. and also they will take any refunds he may have with taxes. this will make him angry.
this will prompt him to go for full custody of your child because he will not want to pay child support. he will do any thing to try to prove you unfit.
then sometimes it is not the father that causes the problems it may be his parents that will cause him to go for his rights to this child.
Please be smart and keep him out, when you child is old enough and askes about his or her dad, then make your choice to inform him or not.
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Mickeymouse5472



Joined: 10 Nov 2006
Posts: 24
State or Province: Utah

PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 11:17 am    Post subject: Re: good choice Reply with quote

stunned wrote:
finish your education, and except your familys help. do not involve the babys father if you do not have to. The laws state he will have just as much right to the child as you do. the father if he is informed will be ordered to pay child support and that is when your problems will start.
He will feel if he is paying he should see his child and have just as much say in every aspect of this childs life.. in a few years or less will get behind in child support, the state will take child support right out of his checks. and also they will take any refunds he may have with taxes. this will make him angry.
this will prompt him to go for full custody of your child because he will not want to pay child support. he will do any thing to try to prove you unfit.
then sometimes it is not the father that causes the problems it may be his parents that will cause him to go for his rights to this child.
Please be smart and keep him out, when you child is old enough and askes about his or her dad, then make your choice to inform him or not.


Stunned
I am not planning on telling the father about my son. For one I have no idea where he is. After my son was born I went to his parents house where he was staying last I knew, and they had all moved. I ran into his best friend the last time I was in Colorado, (which was when my son was 8 mo old, he is almost 11 mo now) I asked him if he knew where the father was he said he hadnt seen the father in a little over a year and the last he knew he was living in his car in front of his x-gf house, until the parents called the cops on him and had the car impounded. (for stat rap of their daughter) Its common knowledge that I have a kid by him in the city we once lived. (its a small city) So anyone could tell him that I have a baby. So unless he finds us, I am not planning on telling him about my son or my where abouts. We will tell my son about his biological father when he is old enough to understand, and will let my son decide on wheather or not to have a realationship with his bio dad. That is not my decsion to make, it would be my sons. I am not going to presue a child support case against him, because my fiance and I make plenty of money to support us. We are much better off and so is my son for the time being with out the bio father in our lives.
I spent the last 5 months reading up on family laws and talking to lawers and even a judge about the family laws in our country. They are not the best, but until someone changes them there is nothing that you can do.
Your right if the father decides that he wants to be in my sons life then he would have to file for paternity and child support, then for visitation rights. If you have a good lawer and knowledge of the system then you shouldnt have too much to worry about. As long as you go to court and let the court know that you dont want to keep the child from the other parent, just that you believe you have a more stable living conditon for the child and that you will allow the other parent to be involved and what not. (unless you get a real biased judge) you should win your case. If you go in all for you and you show the judge that you are not willing to share the child with the other parent you will lose.
These days there is no way to keep the child away from a bio parent, unless you can prove that the parent is a danger to the child, and even then the other parent my be allowed supervised visition.
Sad but true, the other parent has to pratically kill the child before courts will take away their rights to the child. That is the part of the law that needs to be changed, and changed badly! Its three strikes for what ever else we do in this country, why not with parenting rights. Anyway, baby is awake, guess I outta run. Thanks for your Info though.
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