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help me im 21 and i dont want to lose my 3 month

 
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shauns momma
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:59 pm    Post subject: help me im 21 and i dont want to lose my 3 month Reply with quote

my name is krista im 21 years old and i have a three month old son named shaun i was married last year to a man named john he was in the army and seemed like a great person the more i lived with him the more i felt like i had made a horrible mistake he had horrible anger problems strange sexual fixations and would lose control and abuse me mentally and physically and made me feel like it was my fault he also said he was stressed with his job in the army and i thought when he got out and joined the national guard it would be different he told me we were moving to georgia so he had all of our stuff packed by the army and moved little to my knowledge he put every thing i ever owned in my life in his and his mothers name and as of now almost a year later cannot touch we relocated to his familles house where he found out within a day of moving there he was going to be deployed to man the base at ft benning for a year if not more which was only 3 hours away i begged him to get us our own place cause his abuse was no better it was worse he threw me on the floor by my neck threw a full can of soda at my head his family knew of it all they told me i better do what he said cause he had learning problems and they were terribly afraid of his anger needless to say he refused to take responsibility for me he refused to send any money or even visit on the weekend then i found out i was with child i called him and told him he wouldn't even come home that weekend to tell his family so his family and my family and my self agreed that i needed to go back here to Louisiana with my family cause they could not financially support me and they decided it might make him decide to take responsibility for me i tried to reason with him and begged him to seek counseling he would call me screaming telling me to kill my self and if he got thrown out of the army he would have me killed he told me he would take away our baby and he would never pay spousal support even though he was still getting my allotment he went to school in Missouri for his new mos a week later i found out he met a girl named kristal light and proposed marriage to her bought he a 1000 dollar ring and gave her aunt an emerald necklace in there own word it was like he was trying to impress them with his money while throughout my pregnancy i only had my moms clothes and a pair of flip flops any money my mom and i got and none of it was from john we used on getting stuff for my baby he got this girl pregnant before the separation papers were even filed july 10 we went to court for spousal support he was ordered to pay 600 dollars beginning back from april they gave him a month to pay he never did i started getting only 600 just a month before the baby was born he owes as of now 3,855.00 in back spousal support he intends to never pay plus the girl who is pregnant in Missouri he will not help and is trying to deny her baby and mine also even though we were married she is due any day she is having a boy too and i have gotten close to her cause she didn't really know the situation and is an innocent victim like me she has nothing to do with him she works 3 jobs trying to prepare for her new baby and he has his new fiancee call us and decide our children aren't his and if they are he will take them away i am so scared and so is she we love our babies mine is my life the 12 of this month we are supposed to go to court for child custody and child support then the 26 he is supposed to be brought up on charges of contempt of court i just am so scared of just the thought of him getting custody of my child my baby is well taken care of he's never even had diaper rash im just so scared he only wants to take shaun cause he thinks he wont have to pay i would raise my baby all on my own if i had to cause i love him im just so scared does anyone think he could take my baby away hes never even saw him thanks
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marina
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 8:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

krista, i could not finish reading yourstory cozz it is so horifiying. first and for most important, get a restraning order! Call the police and in form them of obuse and call his comending oficer or just his office to inform them of obuse and neglect of both you and the child. military court sustem is alot stricter then sevilian he will be punished! call family services and inform them of obuse and neglect of both you and the child have them open a case. I live in MO and if your friend needs help, or you need help, email koganm@ipd.cc (my email) oh, one more thing, document everithing in writing, start a diery today.
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shauns momma
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 8:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i will never get married again this is the most horrible situation i have ever been in
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shauns momma
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 8:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

what would cause for my baby to be taken away i just wonder if he could have any grounds i love my child more than life its self it would kill me if i lost him i just dont know anything about this i just hope to god he cant take him i take great care of my little one he could never do as good as i do im so scared
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marina
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 8:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

get an attorney and build up a case agains your ex. call all the people you know and have them make a written statement try to cach him on tape saying something that will hurt him in court. you will be ok, do not worry but take action! you are at wor! build your case and win! bit him in his own game! you can do it we are all with you there for you are not alone.
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shauns momma
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 8:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

well i have awesome news for now as of going to court i got sole custody of my 3 month old he has to give me 460 a month in child support and has to pay all the back alimony before june or go to jail and pay perminate alimony he cannot take my child out of the state of louisiana he has to take parenting classes and he has supervised visits with a person i trust or myself for only a couple of hours and before he comes down from ga he has to give 2 weeks notice he took fault in the divorce cause he wants to marry this other girl fast the only thing he asked for is tax rights isnt that sad he will never probaly come down and ever see his son he just wants the money he can make off of him i hope when i get a job i can get the tax rights back
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marina
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 8:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am sooooooo hapy for you!!!!!!!! now, keep all the reseipts, copies of his checks, and diery of events. This will protect yo in case he takes you back to court and if you will need to take him back for something, you will have all the evidence. dont let your guard down just becouse you got what you want. there are so meny women who wone the custody and a few years later lost it all to father. Take real good care of your selfe and the child so he will not have motives to go through the court againd. Sooo happy for you!!!
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