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Mother of a 14 yr old daughter

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 8:13 pm    Post subject: Mother of a 14 yr old daughter Reply with quote

Talking to my kid is very hard for me. I yell, scream and cuss. My patience is low and tolerance is lower. I'm resentful cause I had her at 22 and since then have been on my own. I haven't had a lot of time for me, although my family has been there, for the most part, but not all the time, nor is it their responsibility. Her father and I were engaged until he found out I was pregnant. You know the rest. Anyway, we've been at each others throat for years. Each year getting worse. It's not that I don't want to talk to my child, it's that I don't know how. I never talked to my mom about anything so I don't know how to receive it when she wants to talk to me. She is spoiled, she's got that grass looks greener on the other side attitude and right now, it probably is cause we got into it a week ago when she came home with a hickie on her neck. I wanted to truly hurt the child so my best friend came to get her instead. Which was wise, I guess. But now that it's time for us, my daughter and I to face the music, she doesn't want to come back home. And honestly, the more she's gone the more I don't want her back. I love her dearly, but I don't like her. I think I've carried around these feelings for soooooo long cause I lost a lot of my youth trying to raise her. No help from the father. And I think that makes me resentful and very angry. Unfortunately, she bears the brunt of that anger. I don't want to lose her though. I know I'm contradicting myself. I do know this, if she stays w/my best friend, what little of our relationship will be gone and not fixable. Do I really want that? No. Can anyone suggest where I could find a counseling session to go to w/her? Support group(s)? Anything to stop this pattern and me from losing my kid permanently???
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 8:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

first you have to ask your self do you really want her back?
Does your friend want to keep her?
Where does your daughter want to stay?
I worked in counceling for 15 years and I seen alot of what you are saying and I even had kids stay with me tell they could work something out.
Does the father have anything to do with her at all?
Hope to hear from you soon.
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