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Why do I keep doing this to myself?

 
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can i get anything right



Joined: 06 Jan 2007
Posts: 2
State or Province: Louisiana

PostPosted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 1:04 pm    Post subject: Why do I keep doing this to myself? Reply with quote

Ok I know babies are suppose to bring you joy and happiness but not this time. Let me explain. I'm divorced for 6 years now. I started seeing a guy 5 and 1/2 years ago. In September I found out I was pregnant but by then we had already broken up. When I found out and told him he wasn't happy, and then I found out why. Not only had he been cheating the whole time with EVERYONE AND ANYONE he could cheat with, but he started seeing a girl who lives 15 minutes from my house and they just had a baby girl. I was in school at the time but had to drop out because of high risk pregnancy.(My 13 yr old son was born 2 months early and I had a miscarriage 2 years ago.) Anyway I started working full time but then had to go out on bed rest due to complications in my pregnancy. I was out of work for 3 weeks. No pay check, no help from him. I can only work 2 days a week, I'm behind on all of my bills, he won't help me and I can't afford to pay for groceries and I just feel like I have messed up my life completly. He says if I start dating someone he'll take me to court and get as many rights as he can. He has the money to do this and he knows how broke I am and how limited to what I can and can't do. I've tried finding another job but no one will hire me being pregnant espically with 4 months to go. I've suffered depression all my life, but I am truly at the end now. Will any guy ever want to be with me? Is he really out there? If things get any worse, I don't know what I'll do. Most days I don't want to get out of bed, but I have to take my son to school and then 1 or 2 days go to work. The rest of the time, I spend laying in bed. I don't want to lose the baby, and at first I was so happy but now, I'm so alone and so miserable and I really don't know which way to turn. Can I ever get things right? Who is gonna want to be with a girl who is in her 30's has 2 kids with different dads and different last names, who does nothing but make wrong decissions?? Crying or Very sad
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