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New to Group:My parents took my baby!

 
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otrantomeads



Joined: 28 Jan 2007
Posts: 1
State or Province: South Carolina

PostPosted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 9:50 pm    Post subject: New to Group:My parents took my baby! Reply with quote

Hello everyone! I am new to this group and looking for answers,
support, and to find my sanity once again! And, to help other's in
any way I can! I am so glad that I was introduced to this group. I
think this will help me become more knowledgeable with the situation
that I'm going through. I have lots of questions and concerns and
hopeful I can get the answers, support and peace of mind I am
looking for here in this group. I appreciate any and all information
I can get here. Thanks so much!! My story is below:

I am a 31 single mother of a 16 month old little girl. I was living
in Georgia at the time I found out I was pregnant. I am originally
from South Carolina and my parents weren't too happy about me
getting pregnant but eventually they asked me to move home to be
close to family for support. I moved back to South Carolina in
January of 2005, just seven month's before I had my daughter. Times
were tough living with my parents but I knew that I was doing the
best thing for my daughter (so I thought). My father talked me into
filing for Chapter 7 Bankruptcy because I was going through a
divorce and my soon to be ex-husband had screwed my credit up by not
paying my car payments. My ex is not my daughter's father, but this
wasn't an issue with the divorce. I did as my father suggested
because I trusted him. I did not put much into the bankruptcy
because there wasn't much there to put. (I could have paid the car
company the money back eventually). My father had told me that he
would help me get a place to live and sign with me for a new car
when needed. I used one of their vehicles and paid the insurance,
gas and maintenance of the car. My mother treated me differently not
wanting to feel the baby kick, not wanting to answer questions about
what was going on with me. There was stress concerning whether or
not my mother would go into the delivery room since I didn't have
anyone else. She thought it was funny to watch me worry about this.
I was a little scared and nervous being that I had never gone
through this before. To make a long story short, my parents started
treating me like I was my daughter's sister instead of her mother. I
tried several times to talk with my parents but they wouldn't
listen. After I had my daughter, I started dating again...this was
around the time my daughter was 9 months of age and it was about two
and a half years since I had been out. My father started acting
weird towards me and was rude towards the person I'm involved with
now. They started telling me not to take my daughter with me...my
mother would go to links to say "you know her Popa won't like
that...or you know she is on a schedule and you aren't going to take
her anywhere."I finally took her with us away for the weekend and I
had permission from my mother to use her car since it was a safer
vehicle than I was driving. I told my mother that I was leaving her
with my car and would return with her's on Sunday or Monday, and
that I would replace the gas in her car. On that Monday I found out
that the police had been to my boyfriend's house with my father
looking for my mom's car. My father had reported the car stolen,
which was a lie. I left the car right where it was, packed my
daughter and her things up from where we were staying, and returned
to my boyfriends home. I went to work the next day and found out
that my father had been calling my job and coming up to my place of
work and causing a problem for my coworkers to continue working. I
was fired that Wednesday because of this situation. I had talked
with my father on the phone before I was fired (while I was on a
break) and he and my mother wanted me to come over to talk with
them. I told them I would be out there and they asked where my
daughter was so I told them that my boyfriend (who I trusted deeply
and had watched him closely before with my daughter). I gathered my
things from my job and headed home to find my parents and the cops
there with papers from an Emergency hearing giving my parents
temporary custody of my daughter. They went through a private
attorney and filed false accusations against me stating that I was
believed to be on drugs and that when I left their house on Friday I
didn't leave with enough diapers or formula for the weekend. I have
never in my life been in trouble, let alone trouble with the
law...never touched drugs and when the cops told me that I had to
give my daughter over I asked if I could go inside to get her
things. One of the cops followed me and was shocked to see two boxes
of Pampers diapers, and three cases of my daughter's formula in the
house. My boyfriend has a previous record of using drugs but that
was 18 yrs ago. He is clean and had told me about his past when we
started seeing each other. My father has always been a controlling
person in my life and it has always been his way or no way. I am
trying to find out if my rights as a mother were violated by the
simple fact that I wasn't investigated and I never had anyone talk
to me about my side of the story. I feel that my daughter and I were
robbed of times that can't be replaced. She walked and I never saw
that, etc. I talk to my daughter daily on the phone and I see her
every week but I need to know what I can do to get her back. I have
taken a drug test and I passed it. I am in the process of getting an
attorney but I was trying to do some research and I was foolishly
giving my parents time to come to their senses but I see that they
aren't going to do so. They took my daughter on April 26th of this
year. I just need some advice from a legal standpoint. I wasn't sure
if my parents' could legally take my daughter without any proof
other than the fact that they looked into my boyfriend's past
record. I think they got too attached to my daughter and got too
much rope to hang themselves with. My father has made statements to
me telling me one on one that he knows that I didn't do anything
wrong and that he knows I never did drugs that he was after the
person I am seeing. He also told me that it was worth him losing me
as a daughter in order to make sure my daughter was well taken care
of. Please let me know if you can tell me where I can find
information on whether I was violated as a mother and a U.S.
Citizen. I would like to know if there is anything I can do about
this injustice to my daughter and myself. I appreciate any and all
information you can give me.

In the paperwork that was prepared by my parent's private attorney:

They said that they believed I was using drugs and alcohol. (I don't
use either or have a problem. I can't even tell you when the last
time I had a drink was).

They stated that I left the house without enough diapers and formula
for the weekend.(the weekend I took my daughter with my boyfriend
for a little weekend away and when the cops came over to get my
daughter that day I walked out 2 cases of diapers and 3 cases of
formula...the cop questioned that).

They stated that I didn't know who the father of my child was. (I do
know who my daughter's father is...he told me he wanted me to have
an abortion and I talked w/ my parents about this and my father and
I talked about me going after child support before my dauther was
born...after she was born my dad was furious every time I talked
about "maybe" going after child support).

They said that every time I came home there was a pundgent odor that
they believed to be pot (I don't smoke cigarettes let alone anything
else. They were either not home when I came in or asleep when I
would come in).

The papers also stated that I seemed dis-oriented and distant around
my daughter and that I didn't do anything with her anymore. (This
isn't true...and every time I tried to take her with me I was told
that I wasn't going to take her, that she had a schedule to keep her
on and that her Popa wasn't going to like that...etc.) .

They claimed like I said previously that I stole their vehicle.

That I was staying at a house that a lot of people lived at. (My
boyfriend was adopted and he takes care of his 96 yr old father. He
is a chef and was trying to open up his own resturant when his
father became ill and he dropped everything to take care of him.
There is only my boyfriend and his father living at this residence).

They had the nerve to say that there is a strong bond b/w them and
their grandchild and that they make enough money and have great
secure jobs that will enable them to take care of their grandchild.

I have taken a hair folicle test on my own and have passed it. I did
visit an attorney reguarding the allegations but since I had been
fired from my job I didn't have the resources to pay for the
attorney and another problem, it was my family. I thought that I
could get through to my parents. I have realized otherwise. I do
have the money to at least get started now with an attorney. I
really would like to know the following:

In the state of South Carolina can anyone (grandparents) take your
child without having any proof?

Have my rights as a mother and a U.S. Citizen have been violated
because I was never investigated by anyone and Child Protective
Services didn't get involved. How is it that my parents can have my
child taken away from me with just allegations and no proof? How can
two cops show up to my boyfriends house and demand that I give my
child to my parents. They had no prior knowledge of what type of
people they could be turning my daughter over to. Luckily, I never
had a father that hurt me in any way as a child.

They have always treated me as a child and I never felt like I ever
did anything right in their eyes. My father is very controlling- it
is his way or no way. I grew up with my mother going to my father
to have a decision made. When my daughter was on formula my
daughter was on the powdered formula and my father would make me (a
31 yr old woman) purchase the ready made formula and mix it with the
powder because HE didn't believe it was the same stuff. They
started taking over and there was nothing I could do or say to stop
it. I never thought they would do anything remotely like this. If
this can happen to me it can happen to anyone. I never did anything
to put my daughter in harms way or anything to lose her. How am I
going to prove that I am a good mother? And, how will I prove any of
this other than the drug test?

Please help me find the light in this situation! I am so sorry that
this is such a long post. I just wanted to make sure I could get
everything in this message that I could think of.

Thank you so very much for your help!!! I appreciate anything and
everything!!


I would love to hear from anyone else who has gone through having their parents taking their child! Please feel free to contact me! Take care
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taralkane



Joined: 05 Dec 2008
Posts: 2
State or Province: New York

PostPosted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 11:46 pm    Post subject: hi Reply with quote

I had a similar situation happen to me a little over two years ago. my mother took custody of my son, who is now going to be 5, because my life was unstable. I have since gotten back on my feet, have a great job, my own place with a room for him, and yet she still is winning and getting everything she wants. Saying that i need supervised visitation of my son, yet i have never had any drug use, or criminal past. feel free to email me and we can talk..TaralKane84@yahoo.com
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shamrock83



Joined: 01 Sep 2009
Posts: 1
State or Province: Tennessee

PostPosted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 4:30 pm    Post subject: Im going through the same thing Reply with quote

I am going through the same thing...except it is my mother that is satan's driving force. . I am a single mom, I work fulltime at Goodwill as a Leadfsales Associatte. I have held this job fornearly two years. I had my first and only child October 3rd, 2007. I wasguilty of smoking marijuana while pregnant with her and a positive drugtest brought family services into the picture. I was attending school andworking at the time. When my daughter was about six or seven months old Iallowed her to stay with my parents due to my busy work and schoolschedule, during this time DCS had closed their case with me and still sentout a nurse once a month to check on us. Early this year I had to step backfrom school due to transportation issues, but picked up more hours at work.I continually tried to visit my daughter but noticed that it would more andmore be a "bad time" In the beginning I would try to contribute to herliving expenses but my mother refused and told me not to worry about it. Mymother's and my relationship has never been a good one, (unless she wasafter something) But I never thought she would try to take my daughter awayfrom me. She now refuses to allow my daughter to leave with me, spend thenight with me or even to visit her more than an hour a month if I am lucky.I found out today that she has built a case to keep me away from my baby.Other than the bad drug test and a suspended liscence I have not been introuble since her birth. If you would like to contact me I would like to hear how everything is going for you. pictureperfect62983@live.com
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