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Children removed because of parental alienation accusations

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Joined: 29 Jan 2007
Posts: 5
State or Province: Colorado

PostPosted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 8:14 pm    Post subject: Children removed because of parental alienation accusations Reply with quote

I am writing to you to ask for help in my desperate situation. I feel I have exhausted all outlets and have received inadequate services and answers for my family and myself. Please find my brief outline and history with the Boulder County Department of Social Services, Boulder County District Attorney Office and the Boulder County Judicial System. I am of the understanding that U.S. Congresswoman Diana DeGette was an integral backer of the “Give Us Back Our Children” protest on the steps of the U.S. Capital in Washington, D.C. on Mother’s Day, May 11, 1997. Support of women whom have wrongfully had their children taken away because of parental alienation accusations was of great importance then and voices still needs to be heard as it is still happening today in Boulder County Colorado.

On October 12, 2006 all four of my children were taken away by BCDSS. My 3 older children have the same father and my youngest (4 months old at the time) is a child of date rape, which went unreported. My oldest son and my baby were placed in separate foster care homes and my 2 middle girls were placed with their father. At the current time, I now have custody of my baby and my ex-husband has custody of the 3 older children. My oldest son, Taylor, was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome (form of autism), ADHD, & Sensory Integration Dysfunction, whereas, my third child, Eleni’s diagnoses are Congenital Right Hemiparesis secondary to an intrauterine stroke, Factor V Gene Leiden Mutation and Cerebral Palsy. Our marriage and subsequent divorce was a tumultuous path that included physical and verbal abuse and continuous threats and harassment. There is considerable conflict due to the disparity of our individual parental approach to the children’s medical issues and subsequent treatment plans as was concurred in the D & N case and case no. 03 DR1338 (In re: the marriage of Wolf).

I involved the BCDSS in August of 2005 under the advisement of legal counsel. Their concern centered on my ex-husband’s past criminal behavior that included being on the sex offender list and probation, his erratic display of anger in the courtroom , as well as his inattention to the children and their medical well-being. My son suffered a “melt-down” that led to being hospitalized for 3 days (psych hold) due to inconsistent prozac administration. My ex-husband admitted to not giving Taylor his medicine one time; however, was witnessed by several people, several times when the medicine returned home in the container that it was sent and was obviously not administered. I then made subsequent complaints when my daughter with CP returned home with a 2-inch bruise next to her vaginal area after a visit with him; BCDSS has termed all reports as “unfounded”. BCDSS has also informed me that I am a bitter and vindictive ex-wife that will have my children taken away if any more reports are made. Claims centering on parental alienation by my ex-husband have been used since February of 2004 and have been hyped up since the involvement with BCDSS. All accusations have centered on opinions or hearsay by ex-husband and his significant other. I have yet to have the opportunity to explain or address any accusations made, let alone make any corrections to the court pertaining to mistaken statements reported by BCDSS and my ex-husband. This has been further implemented through the judicial system that has allowed evaluators that have known views and supporting litigation history advocating parental alienation. The Judicial system has failed my family, as it does not recognize the probability, given my ex-husband’s past history, that my actions were justified. Dr. Wind has even concurred that during the evaluation, I was truthful and fully believe what was reported to BCDSS actually happened. The court system needs to once again view evidence of violence, abuse and neglect as just that and not mere conflict and dismiss it.

I have made mistakes through this process with BCDSS and have paid dearly. I hid the pregnancy and delivery from my ex-husband out of tremendous fear and my right to privacy. My relationship with BCDSS has been strained and therefore I continued the hiding of my baby from BCDSS . I have been severely and brutally abused throughout my relationship with my ex-husband. My fears have been compounded by the fact that after my children were removed, my ex-husband’s father harassed me by parking, following, and even lingering in my neighborhood (a private subdivision) numerous times while on a visit from Texas. His reasoning to BCDSS and the Longmont Police Dept. was “nostalgia” and reported that I was harassing him. Officer Graham Fowler followed through with a phone-call to inform him this behavior was unacceptable and any more sightings would result in a restraining order. He has since returned to Texas but the harassing phone calls still exist with ties to Texas. BCDSS failed to respond to my concerns and used this as one of my unreasonable fears.

I have succumbed to a psychological evaluation (October 23, 2006) that led to the return of my baby (November 6, 2006) upon the evaluators’ recommendations. The remaining recommendations have yet to be followed by BCDSS even though they are a part of my court ordered treatment plan. The evaluator, Dr. Tiffany Wind reviewed her findings and informed me that unsupervised visitations should begin as well as accessible phone call visits with reunification in site. That has yet to happen even with the evaluation being released to BCDSS, Boulder County District Attorney and the Court appointed Guardian ad-litem at the beginning of November, which was not released to my council or therapists. This delinquency of releasing crucial information has become habit throughout my involvement with BCDSS. When supervised visitation began the middle of October 2006, a request was made for the release of the tapes of my supervised visits with my children. BCDSS has made excuses, set parameters and even declined releasing such tapes to my council, therapists or myself. BCDSS is concerned that I will view these in the presence of my therapists and they will be used in an educational and therapeutic manner. Explain when and why DSS has been given the power to withhold all forms of treatment that would enable a family to be reunified, especially when the mother has been actively engaged in all therapies and treatment plans. As of January 3, 2007, the court has ruled allowing my ex-husband to change schools for my children beginning as such. They have been stripped away of everything familiar to them.

My concerns are not just based on my needs but my children’s needs. I feel the punishment to myself has denied my children of their rights by not putting their needs above all else; their needs are subordinated to the penalties against myself. The court has denied my children stability and has placed tremendous upheaval in their lives since the commencement of this case. The children’s educational needs based on their disabilities have been neglected through the allowance of my ex-husband to unilaterally change schools. The Court (June 2005) was convinced by a preponderance of evidence that the public school system was unable to meet my son’s particular educational needs, now the change has allowed my son to be enrolled in a public school in Adams County with a “good” special education program and school population of 750 students. This would be a major set back for any child with asperger’s where less distractions and minimizing exterior input is beneficial and best. My son has difficulty staying focused, is subject to widely varying mood swings, has had problems with peer socialization and communication skills, and needs structure and strict scheduling to avoid increased agitation. He is now removed from a school with a class of 10 where he demonstrated marked improvement in both his academics and socialization. Let it be known that “the real experts on this disorder are the dedicated families that have learned how to cope with a child who becomes explosive, disruptive, who could have a meltdown at any moment. They become highly skilled at knowing what helps.” This is as long as a parent is not in denial and refuses to believe or exert any energy to explain the difficulties a child experiences, other than the excuse of parental alienation.

Throughout this case there has been witnessed examples of ex-parte communication by the Boulder County District Attorney’s Office, Boulder County Appointed Guardian Ad-litem Tim Kerns, and Boulder County Department of Social Services. This is not only unethical, but it has deprived me of a fair hearing and is against what should be the family courts standard operating procedures. I have been told by my caseworker she will not work with my attorney and has responded as thus. At the same time witnessed accounts of Laura Wedel, BCDSS assigned caseworker, seen offering legal advisement to my ex-husband concerning the stopping of child support payments. Please offer an explanation of the disparity of treatment between parents.

Complaints made to BCDSS by Laura Wildhirt, OT, my son’s therapists, whom witnessed and heard inappropriate open discussions of my family and this case between BCDSS Intensive Family Therapist Nancy Lasater and my ex-husband in the waiting area of the Mountain View Elementary public school that provides my son his IEP services, have been unanswered. The unethical use of names and information in an open forum should have been addressed, as this is an incomprehensible breach of my families’ confidentiality. I have yet to receive neither acknowledgement nor an apology concerning this incident by BCDSS or anyone involved, nor has the Court been apprised of this indiscretion. Also overheard by witnesses before a court hearing in October was a BCDSS caseworker training a soon-to-be caseworker how to “pad mileage and pad hours—which is common practice” for various BCDSS cases. Unscrupulous acts such as those mentioned lend way for taxpayer’s to question the measures that BCDSS employees have taken.

Little to no effort as been exerted by BCDSS concerning make-up visits when the children are ill or have missed due to vacations. Even court-ordered parenting times were missed during the Christmas holidays due to the caseworkers lack of planning and scheduling. No explanation was given to the children to reassure them that there mother did and does want contact with them, once again punishing the children. Currently court-ordered restricted visits that are scheduled for twice a week are consistently being cancelled by BCDSS due to lack of scheduling, lack of transportation, or illness by caseworker. BCDSS is responsible for transportation and policy should require a back-up plan be in place so the visits are able to take place. Not following through with the court order has allowed the children to be confused, anxious, and angry among other emotions. The disruption of scheduled visits has given way to alienating behavior against the mother at the hands of BCDSS, the Boulder County District Attorney, the Boulder County court-ordered Guardian ad-litem, Tim Kerns, and the Boulder County Judicial System. This reprehensible behavior needs to cease immediately and all parties need to be reprimanded as such.

Concerning my treatment plan, I am of the understanding that the BCDSS has no intentions of returning my children to me. Their parameters around what I need to do and say to fulfill my treatment plan edge on coercion. Having to admit that “unfounded” and “inconclusive” means never happening in order to be able to have unsupervised visits is wrong. I am in a difficult situation in being able to fulfill my obligation as a mother to protect my children. Through my evaluation, I was seen as being truthful and honestly believing the abuse happened, not as being vindictive or making up the accusations as BCDSS implies. I have been vilified by having restraining orders against me from visiting, speaking with or going to my children’s school. My family has been denied contact with the children and BCDSS has even “requested” and “highly suggested” that a family friend be excused from performing her job of extended school care due to contact with the children. This denies this woman the ability to work and earn an income due to the wishes of BCDSS. Information concerning my children has been hidden, as was the situation with the school transition. The children were informed to not tell they were going to another school. Their father, BCDSS and the Guardian ad-litem, Tim Kerns, promoted this behavior.

I am only asking for fairness and equal treatment through this situation. Being continually punished for expressing my concerns at the secrets and hidden agendas, even at the delinquency of child support payments prior to my children being taken is an intrusion that places myself in a no-win situation—where I cannot protect myself or my children. I may have been overly zealous and hyper vigilant in my protection; however, I am not a danger to my children nor am I a criminal without voice and rights. Please try to put yourself in my same situation and imagine what you would do as a parent. I am begging for help in the return of my children to the stable and protective home that they had grown accustom to for all of their lives.

I would greatly appreciate meeting with you to discuss my situation. How many other mothers are losing their children and how many children’s voices will be dismissed and not heard. Thank you for your time and understanding.
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Joined: 09 Nov 2009
Posts: 1
State or Province: Indiana

PostPosted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 5:43 pm    Post subject: Accusation of Parental Alienation Reply with quote

I have been in a very similar situation, though thankfully my son was not taken from me. My ex-husband had multiple DUIs, a domestic battery conviction, multiple positive cocaine drug screens, and owes me over $20,000 in child support. Kids Voice was the child advocacy group that tried to have my son taken from me and have me evaluated psychiatrically. We go back to court due to another positive cocaine screen but I am scared to death. I don't know how this can be allowed to happen, and I wish there were someone in Indianapolis who could please help me too
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Joined: 30 Nov 2009
Posts: 11
State or Province: Not Applicable

PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 7:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Parental Alienation Syndrome is something I have campaigned for for years.

This is an old post and I am wondering how this case has progressed.
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Joined: 14 Feb 2010
Posts: 5
State or Province: Connecticut

PostPosted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 10:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

lets talk about parent alienation, in this day and age, country and culture, Nobody!! should have the legal right to force themselves onto another humane being. not by way of money, not by way of courts or laws and not by way of the children!!! This is legalized abuse at its best!!!!!!!!!!!! Twisted Evil
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Joined: 29 Jan 2007
Posts: 5
State or Province: Colorado

PostPosted: Sat Apr 16, 2011 7:54 pm    Post subject: update on post Reply with quote

Well here we are in April 2011 and sadly the child custody still needs an overhaul......Please read my update as to the situation and I am STILL fighting to get to see my children Sad

I am requesting assistance with a very difficult child custody matter. My case is in Boulder County Court, with my divorce complete in June 2005. I was awarded primary custody of our children with full medical and school decision making following a 3 day court hearing with visiting Judge Markson. Information regarding my ex-husbands sexual offender charge in Jefferson County in 2000, sex offender registration from 2000-2003, his obstructing justice charge in Minnesota 2003 and a narcissistic personality diagnosis via Dr. Lon Kopit’s evaluation May 2005 were influences for Judge Marksons decision. Since then, our family was shaken with the removal of all of my children due to parental alienation allegations in Oct. 2006 following the birth of my youngest whom was returned to my custody after 3 weeks. My 3 older children whom are fathered by my ex-husband were subsequently allowed to stay with their father. I went through 18 months of supervised visitation, then secured funds which allowed me to fight to allow me to have limited unsupervised visitation , which I have been allowed for the last 2 1/2 years. My issue at hand is that last March, my ex-husband unilaterally ceased visitation with my oldest child, a son whom has aspergers, whose diagnosis and meltdowns were used in the parental alienation charges. His behaviors escalated requiring police to be called on him with taser usage, which I was not advised of until my son recently spoke about it. I was informed he was taken to the hospital for suicide watch and released 1 1/2 hours later. I have been excluded from many medical issues and occurences, two of the three children have special needs (aspergers and right side hemiplegia from an in-utero stroke). My son was withheld from visiting with me from March 2010 thru August 2010, stating that my son did not want to see me by my ex-husband, following a series of meltdowns, medicine changes, police involvement and school issues. This decision by my ex-husband was contrary to the Parental Coordinators decision. My son was sent to Texas with paternal grandparents for three of those months, with the information in regards to the plan to leave my son in Texas being delivered via email (@ 2:00 am) three hours prior to leaving the state. I am concerned with their relationship with their baby sister whom is 4 1/2 years now, as well as the deteriorating relationship between myself and the children. As well, I am concerned with the unilateral decisions my ex-husband is able to make without corresponding court orders ceasing my contact for periods at time with my children, which have happened 3 times in the last 2 ½ years. I am allowed limited visitation of 3 hours every other Sunday and a 2 hour rotating dinner visit with each child each week. To complicate matters further, my ex-husband has had court papers served on me during the child exchange period in front of the children and has spoken to the children about court issues, in particular my 9 year old daughter whom has CP now is scared and distant --warming up only after her father is removed from sight. This is a difficult situation which is quite painful, confusing and unfair to all of the four children involved. I am pleading with assistance and guidance in correcting this situation which is affecting all my children in a negative manner.
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Joined: 30 Jun 2014
Posts: 2
State or Province: Connecticut

PostPosted: Mon Jun 30, 2014 8:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It’s really great posts.
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