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please help me!!!

 
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externaltears



Joined: 09 May 2007
Posts: 5
State or Province: Connecticut

PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2007 2:11 pm    Post subject: please help me!!! Reply with quote

am a 20 year old female with a 2.5 monthy old baby...
i am not rich by any means today i was handed papers saying my sons father was takin me to court oh may 22end....he wants sole custody...we werent together very long before we got pregnant with my son jaiden he was not around durning the pregancy....he has money well his parents do..i have been so nice to them and letting him take him for 5 days and i would have him for five days....i recently well when my son was born started seeing my best friend who lives in mass and i live in ct....he is moving back to ct where he is origally from to be with me..... my sons father went to a lwyer and asked for sole costody i new he would do it but he kept saying he wouldnt....when he served me with the papers to go to court he brought up things that i had been throught before i had my son or even dated him...i dont have the money to see a lawyer i am 20 years old and i dont want to lose my son to him...i have been nothing but nice to him and told him he has a son and let him come see him in the hospital and after wards now i tried to put my foot down tell him he could take him for less days i told him last week it would only be 3 days this week 5 was to long...i had to many negitive feelings about it...he was supposed to brhing him home today and now refuses i had the police at my home but was told they could do nothing about it....i am so upset and dont know where to start tommrrow i have to go to legal aid i am so upset i dont even know what to say or even where to begin....any adviser on how to win this care??? i am not a bad mother at all my child is clean he is safe i am a great mother i do not drink i do not do drugs or anything else....when i go to a familys house he comes with me those are the only places i go to familys house and home.....when my son was 11 days old i took him to get his pictures done so family who lived out of state would get them done and also so his father would get one in a frame for his birthday.....i am so lost and confused and dont know where to help please someone help
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Sterling



Joined: 18 Feb 2006
Posts: 77
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2007 1:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

UNless your ex can prove you unfit in court you will not lose your child. You need a lawyer and if legal aid can provide that good!

Don't worry so much. I know this is scary but if you can get the legal help you need you will be ok. Just don't agree to anything with your ex. Let a judge decide if he deserves custody. Sometimes the wealthier parent will try and push the other parent to agree to stuff since they can't afford court. Don't do that! If you have to go to court alone to tell the judge your a good mom and your child has been with you this whole time than do it.

BTW, do you get child support? It is going to look real bad in court that your child's father hasn't been giving you money to take care of the child, but wants to take the child from you.
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externaltears



Joined: 09 May 2007
Posts: 5
State or Province: Connecticut

PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2007 1:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hey sterling thanks ur alot of help.... he dont give me money he has him for 5 days since he has been born he bought 2 cans of formula and 1 pack of diapers his mom buys toys and brings them here but whatever.....i am scared...i went to legal aid to fill out an application they said they would call me tommrrow and let me know if they can help me or not....so i am hopin for the best......have u been through anything like this if so what kinda questions do they ask so i can be prepared ya know
thank u again
sincely yours external tears
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Sterling



Joined: 18 Feb 2006
Posts: 77
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2007 7:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Do you have a job? If not, legal aid will likely help.

If they can't than we will go from there.

The fact your child's father wants to take custody away from you, but has never offered a dime to help out will not help his case! This is something you will have to tell the courts to help your case.

Yes, I have been through all the court stuff and more.

It is ugly, but you can do it. DOn't be afraid and don't give in to fear!
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jacimaeb



Joined: 03 Jul 2006
Posts: 31
State or Province: Oklahoma

PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2007 9:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am sorry you are going through this. I also have an ex that thought he wanted our son after not having anything to do with him for almost 3 years. Out of the blue I was served papers, he was asking for custody. What I found out since then is they always ask for the most hoping the judge will meet somewhere in the middle, joint custody. Joint is still not very likely at all at this age unless joint legal but I doubt the judge would let one so young be away from mommy for that long. Also are you nursing?
Just make sure you take the baby to well check ups and anything else so you can show you are meeting the baby's needs just fine. I was also told to send a certified letter that he has to sign for and ask for child support. That way it will really look bad on him that he would not help with the baby and didn't care if he was fed or clothed.
Let us know when you hear something. ((((hugs))))
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butterfly69



Joined: 20 May 2007
Posts: 2
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2007 2:52 am    Post subject: Going thru almost the same thing!!! Reply with quote

Hey, I am also going through this....I am a 37 year old mom of 5 children who's ages are 22, 18, 17, 9 & 2.... I just recently had my 2 year old's dad break up with me, after moving to Houston with his brother's & he has our 2 year old(He totally CONNED me into thinking we were going to be together, moving there & all!) & got Karli with him for 1 week that we agreed upon, then said he is NOT bring her back tomorrow like he is suppose to!!!!! I have been up all night searching, praying, thinking of what I am going to do!!!! I KNOW the law will not help me, since possesion is 9/10 of the law in Texas...I have been told...& I have no $$ for a lawyer either. I am a GOOD mom, never been abusive, not on drugs, do not even drink, go out anywhere, I care for my kids & my elderly, sick mom....that's ALL I ever do & he is saying I am UNFIT & she's better off with him!!! I have been nursing her all this time, she would NOT take a bottle at all, not even with my milk...has always been soooo close to ME & never, ever been away from momma!!!!! I do NOT know what to do! How long does it usually take to go to court, even if I can find an attorney? Is there ANY other options? I don't even have the address where they live, his brother has recently moved!!! I feel so helpless & hopeless...never have lost any of my kids & cannot imagine my life w/o any of them! MY entire family is beside theirselves with grief, here!!!! ANY HELP/ADVICE would help! Good luck to you as well, I will keep you & your baby in my prayers! You definitely should win, ecspecially with the baby's age!!!! God Bless! K, lost in Texas
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jacimaeb



Joined: 03 Jul 2006
Posts: 31
State or Province: Oklahoma

PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2007 10:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I do not know all the legal steps but what I would do is right away get an attorney, quickly before he does. Then file for temporary custody so you will have her until the final hearing. File where you live and get those papers so you can then legally take her with the help of the law. So you were not married to him? Is his name on the birth certificate? In most states the mom has automatic sole custody if you are not married or have any type of custody papers to go by.
So get some papers before he does. While in court tell the judge you are afraid he will take off with her again and do not want any unsupervised visitation until the final hearing.
Are you still nursing her? If so then tell the judge she depends on that and is not used to going without you at all.
I hope you get something done and fast. Just do not waste time and let him get custody first, you may never get her back if he does.
((((hugs))))
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butterfly69



Joined: 20 May 2007
Posts: 2
State or Province: Texas

PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2007 5:39 pm    Post subject: My Baby Girl!! Reply with quote

Thanks for your reply! I have found out today that yes with the right amount of $$ I can put in for a temp custody order....& of course takes time....but I know he is not budging. I have tried reason, begging, everything I know to try & he will NOT give in! When I finally got to talk to her yesterday all she said over & over is "Mommy, come get me!" She told my mom "Nana, I want my MOMMA!" It just breaks my heart in two!!! I have never experienced this pain before! In the state of Texas, the law is that whoever has possesion of the child until court, has rights to that child!! No helpfrom the law here....if I could get my hands on her I coud get her, but that's another story & hard to do yanno??!! AW, PLEASE keep on praying & I am asking for a miracle that God will change HIS MIND & see that she NEEDS to be here at the ONLY HOME she's ever known & the ONLY family she's known!!!! Thanks for all yoru prayers! Love in Christ, K
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jacimaeb



Joined: 03 Jul 2006
Posts: 31
State or Province: Oklahoma

PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2007 8:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am so sorry. Seems he only wants to hurt you and doesn't care if he hurts her while doing so.
How close are you to him? Does she go to daycare? I do not know if I am telling you something that you shouldn't do but if it were me it would be very hard not to be nearby and wait for them to take their eyes off her and then grab her. Then right away go to the courts or the police .and tell them he is trying to kidnap her again. If you knew where she went to daycare or if she played outside alone.... But if he has any type of court orders then you would not want to do that, it could hurt your case. But if he doesn't have custody then.....
I will be thinking about you.
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