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help! confused!

 
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Kaye
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 1:39 pm    Post subject: help! confused! Reply with quote

i am a month pregnant and i dont really know the father. However, the father is completely supportive and wants to play a big role in my babies life. I think that is wondeful but i am a bit nervous sonce i dont really know him. Just to be safe i want total custody over the child and i dont want him to have any rights. This sounds selfish, i know, i would have him playing a role in my childs life but since i dont really know him i want to be safe! also can i give the baby my last name even if he wants to give him/her his?
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Melissa in Wisconsin
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 1:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am not sure if it is possible to not honor the father with any rights. I believe the courts will entitle him to something unless he terminates his rights himself. If he does terminate his parental rights, you will not be entitled to any child support from him. I hope you give it some time. Maybe by the time your baby comes along, you and his/her father will know eachother much more. Keep in mind that this is the babies father, and their may come a point in your babies life that he/she will want to know his/her father.
Thanks, Melissa in Wisconsin
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Melissa in Wisconsin
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 1:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh yeah, you can give the baby any last name you choose. What state are you in? In Wisconsin, the mother can give the child any last name she chooses.
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nanagorillahead02
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 1:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kaye, Don't put his name on the Birth Certificate if you don't want to use his name. However, if he is wanting to have a part in your child's life and you do not put him on the birth certificate he can later come and request a paternity test and ask the court to put his name on it when it is proven that he is the baby's father. Whether you want it or not he does have rights, the courts have made it that way. Talk this over with him and tell him your fears, communication always helps. Take into consideration that he wants to be a part and no matter how much you try to keep him away he will still be your baby's father. Time will tell what his real intentions are.
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Cherie Ergle
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 1:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your baby needs both parents. And you are going to need help in raising your child, especially as a single parent. Let him help you; after all, he is the father. In the meantime, get to know him better. Especially if you are going to be parenting a child together. Why would you not want him to be a part of your child's life? Unless he is abusive or some sort of lunatic, he deserves a chance. The last thing you want is a nasty custody battle on your hands. The more you two can agree on the better off the three of you will be. Give a try; for your child's sake.
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