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HELP Single Mom Fighting to Keep Custody

 
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singlemommy
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 9:04 pm    Post subject: HELP Single Mom Fighting to Keep Custody Reply with quote

I am the single mother of a beautiful 5 year old boy. His father and I were never married and his father never lived in our home. My son has lived with me his whole life. However his father has taken me to court numerous times (each time gaining a little more - one extra holiday, one extra overnight, reduced child support, etc.). He currently has visitation every Wednesday overnight and every other weekend. Just last year I agreed not to contest his request for joint legal custody, hoping that this would make his father less angry and more involved. Since then his father has not helped in any decision making, but has chosen instead to sit back and say no to any idea I have. He refuses to consent to (or even visit) the kindergarten I have chosen for the fall. He also refused to consent to allow my son to see a child psychologist I had chosen. His father failed to meet the child psychologist (cancelled three appointments to meet with him) and instead just wrote the man an email saying that he did not have permission to treat our son. His father says he will find a child psychologist but in over a month has not set up any appointments. My legal bills have become staggering. I can no longer afford to fight for custody of my son. His father is now asking for Full Legal and Physical Custody. He was able to go to the courts a week and a half ago and someohow get a court date for three weeks from that time. I now have just over one week to fight for custody of my son. I would appreciate any advice and most importantly your prayers.
Please see my website www.members.cox.net/singlemommy.
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bsl
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 9:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You need to start collecting affidavits from the school teacher, the child psychologist and anybody else who has witnessed this behavior (the father's behavior). You also need affidavits telling the courts that you are a good mother and that your child is well cared for and happy in your home. It could be that he is only going for sole custody to get out of child support. It is probably too late, but while doing research last summer I stumbled into some tapes called "win child custody now". I believe that they are aimed at fathers seeking custody, but it does give you some insight into what he is planning and what you should be doing. Good luck.
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lindaforthelord
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 9:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello singlemommy!
I too have been raising my precious 5 year old boy since birth after the father abondoned us. He has pulled off many things to twist the truth and make me look like the bad mom. After refusing to access his son during the week any day at all, and only seeing his son every second week-end, He took an opportunity to take custody of the child. He got an interim order over something that happened as a result of my running out of antidepressants. It took me 3 1/2 months to get before a judge that would here my side of the story...and he lost some of his power. But it isn't over yet. I was an awesome stay-home and dedicated mother, taking my child to church and wee college, staying out of relationships with other men, waiting and putting my son first above everything...while he was neglegent, showed up for visits with alcohol on his breath etc.etc. etc. I was always flexible with him regarding visits, but since he has had him this past 3 1/2 months, he has refuse access 18 times. I was just in court 4 days ago, my ex appeared willing to show some 'good will' but I did not trust him. The judge cancelled the order that was against me and would not allow him to focus on my apparent unfitness (because I am a fit mom) but I was not given enough time to get all the information out that needed to come out. In the mean time, the father had changed schools ....made no attempt to keep my son stable in his familiar environment where I had lived for 5 years! I run a childcare bus. at home and have a very child friendly home while he and his 'wife' work during the day. I am allowed access mon, wed and every second fri for the weekend. He just cancelled mon cause of the long weekend and refused to replace it with tues! WE were just given joint custody on an interim basis until we could get more time before thejudge
. Already he has been unreasonable....What do I do now? I have been before a judge briefly a few times before and they always granted me access...but I can't make it go through! Now that I have joint custody (I had sole before)do I have the right to refuse access myself? I fear everytime I return my child that I won't get my next access visit. And he has never ever replaced 1 of the cancelled visits!
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barbara
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 9:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

lindaforthelord
Why is he not brought up on contemt of court charges? You have a court order to see your son on these times. No you don't have the right to refuse him his rights, as he does not yours.
I really don't understand why you should need affidavits from anyone when the father of this child needs nothing of the kind.
I know of a very good mother who had all of the affidavits any one could have needed, the GAL asked for the evidence to be barred and the judge allowed it.
The courts are very gender bias for the men and I believe it has set violence against women and children back into the Dark Ages. I can hardly believe what is going on in family courts today, and the worst part about this is that no one else cares either.I guess abused children don't sell papers.
The courts are all using Richards Gardners theory on PAS and if you read his crap, it's hard to believe that any one with any education could believe it.
Barbara
Wisconsin
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bsl
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 9:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks barbara for the little digs and stabs at my comment, very much appreciated. Your one isolated case is very little support for your argument, although I think that your intent is only to argue with me.
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barbara
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 9:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

bsl
Digs and stabs?
Not an isolated case, happening all over the United States on a daily base's, Why do you think us mothers have had enough, just for giggles and something to do? Keep doing more research it might surprise you just what is really happening in the family courts.
Barbara
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Julie



Joined: 17 Feb 2006
Posts: 15
State or Province: Not Applicable

PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2006 10:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

singlemommy, you should go back and see how much you can personally document by yourself of everything that has happened since you met this man. He will not have to prove you unfit or crazy or anything, all he has to do is say that you are and then YOU will have to prove him wrong. You should get an attorney fast and get a continuance so the attorney has more time to go over the case with you. Stay strong and watch evreything that you say and do. Watch your back and make NO mistakes. Don't do anything that he can use against you.
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