keep family 2gether (its long but I need some help or prayer

[AngelDusty038@yahoo.com]

I have been together with my husband for 8 years now married just 1. We have had so many hard times... we met when we were only 17 (both), we also both had drug problems, he drank too. We've gotten clean from drugs. He wont give up drinking but its gotten better than before, he doesn drink in excess anymore... I have a very family oriented family. He grew up on a divorced household. His father was not present in most of his life. He's had a harder childhood than I and has not recieved any help for the issues he has. The relationship has been rocky , I am a very patient and loving person. Gods love is unconditional and so is mine. we have a son, he will be two in feb. my husband hasnt been able to hold a steady job,and I'm a stay at home mom by choice and b/c we cant afford child care. He went into the army, and didnt finish his term he got out b/c he missed us (me and our son). He was in over his head. I was finally finacially secure, until he came back. The money I had saved didnt last too long after he came home. And finding a job is harder now than it was before, and keeping it too... His self esteem has been further damaged due to everything built up. He is more disconnected and disrespectful since he came back. I finally stood up for myself and wouldnt tollerate the disrespect, especially in front of our son. The more I would confront his disrespect the more he would continue, seeming like he did it out of spite. It makes me feel like he hates me... and thats not a word I use in my vocabulary (hate). Recently he left the house, and went to stay with his mom... he wants to be separated... I dont. But I also want him to treat me with respect and kindness. Not only b/c I'm his wife but for the simple fact that I'm a child of God just as he is. I would really love some encouragment and advice on how to deal with someone who is non easy to love, fragile self esteem, and gives up on everything that he starts... i want to save my marrige and keep my family together... for now I'm accepting the fact that he feels the way he does and am not pressuring him to stay... so that he doesnt resent me anymore than he already does. I do love myself and I know I deserve better. I made a commitment to God and myself and my husband. Not to mention I have a innocent child that one way or another will have to deal with this family issue. I trust in Gods will either way.