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JsAngels2



Joined: 26 Jun 2007
Posts: 2
State or Province: Connecticut

PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 11:30 am    Post subject: Advice Reply with quote

I am a single mother of 2 children ages 9 and 7. I was never married to the children's father and it's been 2yrs since we have split. For those 2 years he went on having an relationship and assumed his business as man. I continued taking care of my children as a single mother and did everything I could possible for them. Always was with them every weekend. He would call whenever he felt like it and would take them whenever. I never stopped him from having his rights as a father even though he was more interested in being out and about. Anyway I took him for child support in 2006 and was awarded 43buck biweekly for both children due to two other orders he has in NY. He has to other children with two other women so they take all the money for them. I continued doing what i had to do to give my children a happy and stable life. In March he decided that he couldn't afford to live in CT and that he met a female that was willing to help and support him regardless of his situation. He moved to California and allegedly got married to this female. Come to find out this female is his cousins ex girlfriend and a mother of 3 children. Anyway that's not the point : O ) .. In March he flew from California and without my consent signed the children out of school at 12pm and took them for several hours. No means of locating him or contacting him. 4hrs later his wife dropped them off because I have a restraining order against him so he is not allowed to come within my premises. 3 days later I receive court papers for a hearing in which he is seeking Sole Custody and or Joint Legal Custody. This has only came about once he found out I was in a relationship. Does he have a chance?? Also I had to change my phone number due to harassing calls by him and his wife so I have the children call him when they ask to speak to him which since they are young and enjoy playing all day is not often. He has sent the police to my house because he says I am suppose to by law have the children speak to him everyday. I have no court order saying so. I told him to buy prepaid minutes for boost I have so that he can reach them and he told me that what I was doing is extortion and he was going to take all this to court?? What am I doing wrong and what did I do to deserve this??

Thanks Crying or Very sad
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TAMEE



Joined: 28 Jun 2007
Posts: 10
State or Province: West Virginia

PostPosted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 9:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's so sad that there are so many jerks like this out there. What is even sadder is the courts have given these jerks what the want and at times more rights than the mothers have gotten. In your case though I don't think he seriously stands much of a chance of getting sole custody. From what I believe the courts are more in favor of the parent whom has sat still so to speak, meaning he is the one that upped and moved from the children. I'm guessing your current place of residence is in the state in which they were conceived and raised. Most courts would not unless the other parent is unfit take the children from there natural/stable environment. How much time does he get with his other children? I'm sure the court will wanna look at why it is he doesn't have custody of those children or why he hasn't attempted to get custody. More than likely he thinks like most men think if he gets custody he won't have to pay child support and like most men he doesn't realize it costs way more than what they are ordered to pay in his case a way lot more.

Unfortunately, he will probably get visitation or so they called it now shared parenting maybe at worst joint custody (physical & legal). Your strong things in this are 1. u have a restraining order, so chances are some type of abuse/harassment has taken place to show he is a jerk. 2. He is the one that moved out of the state not u or the kids. 3. He has other children and how he parents/visits w/ them can show the type of father he truly is and may be.

Get a lawyer asap and don't agree to a thing. If he took or takes them from school w/o your knowledge and u don't have a court agreement call the police he may don't bring them back. Document and keep everything. Try not to communicate with him or anyone involved w/ him unless written/e-mail etc. U want concrete proof opposed to he say/ she say.

Sadly, in the last 10 years the courts favor and believe a child needs a father in there life. They use to give them e/o weekend now they dang near get e/o day even when they are unfit and donít want to support their children right from the start. If we as mothers abandoned are kids then one day sought custody after years they would laugh at use. If GOD felt men were deserving of equal rights to children he would have made it so they could actually have children I guess itís ok for all the men who donated sperm to seek sole custody of the children whom were born to woman who were artificially inseminated. There is really no difference.
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JsAngels2



Joined: 26 Jun 2007
Posts: 2
State or Province: Connecticut

PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 6:44 am    Post subject: Thank You Reply with quote

For your response. In the 10yrs I was with the father he never made an attempt to see his two other children either. That's the sad part he's only using the children to hurt me because he knows how much I love and care for them. It is unfortunate that men like that can get away with such things and it's also sad that he doesn't think about what it might be doing to his children. Why not be a man be a father and just try to be there for them. I guess it just has to be their way or no way. It seems like it's taking forever for the 23rd but I am leaving my trust in god because he does not like ugly and I believe I have been a great person and parent to my children. I really do appreciate your input I to believe that he doesn't have a chance there's just always that what if????...Be Blessed. Razz
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TAMEE



Joined: 28 Jun 2007
Posts: 10
State or Province: West Virginia

PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 1:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I to believe that he doesn't have a chance there's just always that what if????...
I know that's true. No matter what you feel to be enevitable and believe there is no way it will happen there is also chance it will. It's a sad set of circumstances that these types of idiots can involve children in there insaness. The courts need to implement a set of stipulations on granting rights. Like if u wasn't involved from the start don't come 10 yrs later wanting involved. If they weren't there for the 1st year then relinquish their rights, but they still must pay. It shouldn't be a system of well when they want to be involved they can and not all well come back 10 yrs later and well still grant u rights. Only if I could head the family court system, I'm telling ya.
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